Great Throughts Treasury

This site is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Alan William Smolowe who gave birth to the creation of this database.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce

American Editorialist, Journalist, Short Story Writer, Fabulist and Satirist

"A man is the sum of his ancestors."

"A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support."

"Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other."

"Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure."

"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others."

"Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured."

"Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as virtue."

"Politics is the conduct of public affairs for private advantage."

"Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting."

"Politeness. The most acceptable hypocrisy."

"Think twice before you speak to a friend in need."

"Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. It’s chief activity consists in the endeavor to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with."

"Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."

"Cynic: n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be."

"Experience: The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."

"Duty, n. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire."

"History, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools."

"Faith is belief without evidence, in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel."

"Money, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it."

"Do away with the desire to excel and you may set up your Socialism at once. But what kind of a race of sloths and slugs will you have?"

"Democracy is defined as four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner."

"A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring."

"A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills."

"A conversation, is a vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener."

"A bore is a person who talks when you want him to listen."

"A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination."

"A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be."

"A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs."

"A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker."

"A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success."

"A Man having found a Lion in his path undertook to subdue him by the power of the human eye; and nearby was a Rattlesnake engaged in fascinating a small bird. How are you getting on, brother? the Man called out to the other reptile, without removing his eyes from those of the Lion."

"A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student."

"A man is known by the company he organizes."

"A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else."

"A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links."

"A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit."

"A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people."

"A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others."

"A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures."

"Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity."

"Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standards in matters of thought and conduct. To be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. A striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself, whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell."

"Aborigines, n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize."

"Abrupt, adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon- shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it. Dr. Samuel Johnson beautifully said of another author's ideas that they were concatenated without abruption."

"Abscond. To ''move'' in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another."

"Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends."

"Absent, adj. Peculiarly exposed to the tooth of detraction; vilifed; hopelessly in the wrong; superseded in the consideration and affection of another."

"Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion."

"Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure."

"Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others."

"Academy, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n. [from Academe] A modern school where football is taught."