Bill Cosby, fully William Henry "Bill" Cosby Jr.

Cosby, fully William Henry "Bill" Cosby Jr.

American Contemporary Comedian, Author, Television/Movie Producer, Actor

Author Quotes

All parents experience the same problems.

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. Think about your father: He doesn't know where anything is. You ask him to do something, he messes it up and your mother sends you: go down and see what your father's doing before he blows up the house. He's a genius at work because he doesn't want to do it, and he knows someone will be coming soon to stop him.

I asked her to dance and we did. Then I asked for her phone number and wanted to see her,

I just felt wonderful about that. Just to erase all that mess about, 'Well, I'm either flipping burgers or doing drugs, you know, or getting shot.' You know, that kind of a thing,

I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.

If the audience knows you can be funny when you want to be, they will be willing to wait for that payoff.

I'm one of those who cut off seeing people after a certain time, when the weight is gone and they sound like the dementia is very advanced - I don't want to see that. I don't even go in to look at the body. That's not my last memory.

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds.

My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.

There is no job a man can do that is undignified - if he does it well.

Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce.

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next.

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

I know I didn't say anything, but I'm asking your integrity that since I didn't wanna say anything, but I did answer you, in terms of I don't wanna say anything of what value will it have? ... And I would appreciate it if it was scuttled.

I think you need to make responsibility something that's not just a word.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

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Cosby, fully William Henry "Bill" Cosby Jr.
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American Contemporary Comedian, Author, Television/Movie Producer, Actor