Frank Zappa, born Frank Vincent Zappa

Zappa, born Frank Vincent Zappa

American Composer, Singer-Songwriter, Electric Guitarist, Record Producer and Film Director releasing more than 60 albums with the band The Mother of Invention and as a solo artist

Author Quotes

The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.

Those Jesus Freaks. Well, they're friendly but the shit they believe has got their minds all shut an' they don't even care when the church takes a cut. Ain't it bleak when you got so much nothin'.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

The U.S. is a mere pup tent of a civilization. We’ve got two hundred years of stupidity behind us and we think we’re right up there with everyone else who’s been doing it for thousands of years.

To me, absurdity is the only reality.

Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money.

The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people. Most people are probably better off getting the certification they desire and spindling their lives away the way they’re doing. I don’t think they’d enjoy living any other way. There are millions of people who acquire all sorts of wonderful feelings from watching a football game and drinking a bottle of beer. It makes them really happy. Doesn’t do shit for me. But for them it’s life itself. As long as they can believe in the beer and the football, then they’ve really got something. And it’s probably more useful to them than religion. So why take it away? Why tell them what’s really going on? Let ’em be happy.

The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.

Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

The mainstream comes to you, but you have to go to the underground.

The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.

Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

The manner in which Americans "consume" music has a lot to do with leaving it on their coffee tables, or using it as wallpaper for their lifestyles, like the score of a movie -- it's consumed that way without any regard for how and why it's made.

The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. "You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that."

We live in a very special time right now. At no other time in history has there been such mass disillusionment in terms of reliance on governing functions. Most people don’t want to come to terms with that. It’s been proven over and over again that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, but most people don’t like to look at naked emperors. In the process of turning around to avert their eyes, they saw the discotheques and a few other things and latched onto them.

You drank beer, you played golf, you watched football - WE EVOLVED!

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

The whole Universe is a large joke. Everything in the Universe are just subdivisions of this joke. So why take anything too serious.

Well Mike [Douglas], I'm abnormal.

You got to play 'Dinah Mo Hum' a lot of times to get one of these. ( in reference to his then brand new million dollar home studio.)

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Zappa, born Frank Vincent Zappa
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American Composer, Singer-Songwriter, Electric Guitarist, Record Producer and Film Director releasing more than 60 albums with the band The Mother of Invention and as a solo artist