You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I’m hot under the collar.
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
You get a canoe later and I’ll paddle you.
Why, I’d horse-whip you if I had a horse.
You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.
Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
You haven’t stopped talking since we got here! You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle!
Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
With a little study you’ll go a long ways, and I wish you’d start now.
You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.
You’re a woman who’s been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten your brakes, but you’ll have to stay in the garage all night.
Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
You’re heading for a breakdown. Why don’t you pull yourself to pieces.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and that’s not saying much for you.
Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance? Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!
You’ve forgotten those June nights at the Riviera... the night I drank champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have been more but you were wearing inner soles.
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication.
You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses… On second thought, just let me cover your face.
You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are.