Irvin D. Yalom

Irvin D.
Yalom
1931

American Existentialist Psychiatrist, Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University, Fiction and Nonfiction Author

Author Quotes

I follow Freud's most visionary euphoria dwarf fat and I think that in the forest dendrites and axons, life is good for your hands and feet. Now sleeps the night, the buzz and hum of synapses head of Nazbalshsh plus, soda drinks his coffee and lazy, string host your dreams falling fast ... the ridiculous fairy tales like. Just as anthropomorphism common nineteenth century. The common error is to illustrate Freud's objective abstractions, mind and become harder to build the fairy independent and autonomous. I wish I did not just believe it!

If death is inevitable, if all of our accomplishments, indeed our entire solar system, shall one day lie in ruins, if the world is contingent (that is, everything could as well have been otherwise), if human beings must construct the world and the human design within that world, then what enduring meaning can there be in life? ... We are meaning-seeking creatures. Biologically, our nervous systems are organized in such a way that the brain automatically clusters incoming stimuli into configurations. Meaning also provides a sense of mastery: feeling helpless and confused in the face of random, unpatterned events, we seek to order them and, in so doing, gain a sense of control over them. Even more important, meaning gives birth to values and, hence, to a code of behavior: thus the answer to why questions (Why do I live?) supplies an answer to how questions (How do I live?).

In the beginning these flashbacks, like extreme mood swings that accompanied them, seemed chaotic, random events. But then a few weeks Betty realized that follow a fixed scheme: as losing weight, revive major traumatic or unresolved life events of that had happened when they were in a particular body weight. Thus the descent of the hundred and twenty pounds put on a track backwards in time through the most emotionally charged events of her life: leaving Texas for New York (one hundred and five pounds), graduates from college ( enenintapente pounds), decides to give up the preparatory program of medical-and with the dream to find a cure for the cancer that killed his father thereof; (ninety pounds), he feels alone in graduating from high school - is jealous of the other girls and their fathers are unable to find someone to dance for seniors (ogdontapente pounds). What wonderful evidence of the world of the unconscious! The body of Betty was kept in his mind things that her mind had long been forgotten.

Live right, he reminded himself, and have faith that good things will flow from you even if you never learn of them.

Meaning their deeper motives. You will find that no one has ever done anything for the other sublime. All procedures are directed towards you, all the services themselves, all love is self-love. You look surprised this review? Maybe you remember the ones you love. Go deeper and you realize that you do not like them: what you love are pleasant feelings that such love creates in you!

Once, several years ago, some friends and I enrolled in a cooking class taught by an Armenian matriarch and her aged servant. Since they spoke no English and we no Armenian, communication was not easy. She taught by demonstration; we watched (and diligently tried to quantify her recipes) as she prepared an array of marvelous eggplant and lamb dishes. But our recipes were imperfect; and, try as hard as we could, we could not duplicate her dishes. "What was it," I wondered, "that gave her cooking that special touch?" The answer eluded me until one day, when I was keeping a particularly keen watch on the kitchen proceedings, I saw our teacher, with great dignity and deliberation, prepare a dish. She handed it to her servant who wordlessly carried it into the kitchen to the oven and, without breaking stride, threw in handful after handful of assorted spices and condiments. I am convinced that those surreptitious "throw-ins" made all the difference.

Plato: Is it your desire to have more wealth, fame and honor you not ashamed? While to ponder the wisdom or truth or not best care of your soul.

Sooner or later she had to give up the hope for a better past.

The creative members of an orthodoxy, any orthodoxy, ultimately outgrow their disciplines.

The most desired woman is the most frightening. And, of course, not for what it is, but for what we imagine of it.

There is a deep man needs friends, or at least friendly are even gods. But what my friend nor I have God. I'm in a great longing like you; perfect longing to establish friendships, inter pares friendship, friendship between equals. These words have a power cut the breath of man; especially the always alone like me and always for someone who can never find the call to one based on full it inter pares words such as giving a great sense of relief and hope.

To see the world from the perspective of eternity, should their identity, namely their interest aside and see everything from the perspective perfectly true. When we do this, the boundary between self and others, and we did not feel great peace inside flows and any events we do not worry. Even death does not make a difference ourselves. When others to achieve this vision together, we will be like and what they themselves want to ask others will act and generous.

When a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune.

You wonder about a conversation with nothing concealed-its real name is hell, I believe. To disclose oneself to another is the prelude to betrayal, and betrayal makes one sick, it does not.

I had the feeling that an important lesson to be taught Betty awareness of death was that his life must live it now. You cannot postpone indefinitely. Easily could the count the ways shunned life: unwillingness to make relations with other (because he feared the separation), overconsumption of food and obesity who exclude a large part of life, avoid direct this running as soon penetrated to the past or the future.

If Epicurus were speaking to you at this moment, he would urge you to simplify life. Here's how he might put it if he were standing here today: Lads, your needs are few, they are easily attained, and any necessary suffering can be easily tolerated. Don't complicate your life with such trivial goals as riches and fame: they are the enemy of ATARAXIA. Fame, for example, consists of the opinions of others and requires that we must live our life as other wish. To achieve and maintain fame, we must like what others like and shun whatever it is that they shun. Hence, a life of fame or a life in politics? Flee from it. And wealth? Avoid it! It is a trap. The more we acquire the more we crave, and the deeper our sadness when our yearning is not satisfied. Lads, listen to me: If you crave happiness, do not waste your life struggling for that which you really do not need.

In the first, a tornado approached and I led her and others up a fire escape that ultimately dead-ended against a brick wall. In the second dream she and I were taking an examination and neither of us knew the answers. I welcomed these dreams because they informed the patient of my limits, my humanness, my having to grapple with the same fundamental problems of life that she did.

Live when you live! Death loses its terror if one dies when one has consummated one's life! If one does not live in the right time, then one can never die at the right time.

Members of a cohesive group feel the warmth and comfort in the group and a sense of belongingness; they in turn value the group and feel that they are valued, accepted, and supported by other members.

One doesn't do existential therapy as a freestanding separate theory; rather it informs your approach to such issues as death, which many therapists tend to shy away from.

Psychiatry is a strange field because, unlike any other field of medicine, you never really finish. Your greatest instrument is you, yourself, and the work of self-understanding is endless. I'm still learning.

Specialness as a primary mode of death transcendence takes a number of other maladaptive forms. The drive for power is not uncommonly motivated by this dynamic. One's own fear and sense of limitation is avoided by enlarging oneself and one's sphere of control. There is some evidence, for example, that those who enter the death-related professions (soldiers, doctors, priests, and morticians) may in part be motivated by a need to obtain control over death anxiety.

The death anxiety of many people is fueled ... by disappointment at never having fulfilled their potential. Many people are in despair because their dreams didn't come true, and they despair even more that they did not make them come true. A focus on this deep dissatisfaction is often the starting point in overcoming death anxiety.

The pain is there; when you close one door on it, it knocks to come in somewhere else.

There was a time in our lives when we were so close that nothing seemed to obstruct our friendship and brotherhood, and only a small footbridge separated us. Just as you were about to step on it, I asked you Do you want to cross the footbridge to me? - Immediately you did not want to anymore; and when I asked you again you remained silent. Since then mountains and torrential rivers and whatever separates and alienates have been cast between us, and even if we wanted to get together, we couldn't. But when you now think of that little footbridge, words fail you and you sob and marvel.

Author Picture
First Name
Irvin D.
Last Name
Yalom
Birth Date
1931
Bio

American Existentialist Psychiatrist, Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University, Fiction and Nonfiction Author