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Mark Twain, pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens

(1835 - 1910)


American Writer, Humorist

20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn?t do than by the one?s you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
?The most important days in your life are the day you were born? and the day you find out why.
?TOM! No answer. TOM! No answer. What's gone with that boy, I wonder? You TOM! No answer. The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked over them about the room; then she put them up and looked out under them. She seldom or never looked THROUGH them for so small a thing as a boy; they were her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built for style, not service-- she could have seen through a pair of stove-lids just as well.
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
A brown spotted lady-bug climbed the dizzy height of a grass blade, and Tom bent down close to it and said, Lady-bug, lady-bug, fly away home, your house is on fire, your children's alone, and she took wing and went off to see about it -- which did not surprise the boy, for he knew of old that this insect was credulous about conflagrations, and he had practiced upon its simplicity more than once.
A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.