American Writer, Humorist
Mark Twain, pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens
American Writer, Humorist
I have never tried, in even one single little instance, to help cultivate the cultivated classes. I was not equipped for it either by native gifts or training. And I never had any ambition in that direction, but always hunted for bigger game--the masses.
I am quite sure... I have no race prejudice, and I think I have no color prejudices, nor caste prejudices. Indeed, I know it. I can stand any society. All I care to know is that a man is a human being?this is enough for me; he can?t be any worse.
I conceive that the right way to write a story for boys is to write so that it will not only interest boys but strongly interest any man who has ever been a boy. That immensely enlarges the audience.
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
I hain't ever seen her since that time that I see her go out of that door; no, I hain't ever seen her since, but I reckon I've thought of her a many and a many a million times, and of her saying she would pray for me; and if ever I'd a thought it would do any good for me to pray for HER, blamed if I wouldn't a done it or bust.
I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.
I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.
I don't have time to write you a short letter, so I'm writing you a long one instead.
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
I have no race prejudice. I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed, I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being -- that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.
I am willing to be a literary thief if it has so been ordained; I am even willing to be caught robbing the ancient dead alongside of Hopkinson Smith, for he is my friend and a good fellow, and I think would be as honest as any one if he could do it without occasioning remark; but I am not willing to antedate his crimes by fifteen hundred years. I must ask you to knock off part of that.
I could not really complain, because he had only given me his word of honor as security; I ought to have required of him something substantial.
I don't know anything that mars a good literature so completely as too much truth. Facts contain a great deal of poetry, but you can't use too many of them without damaging your literature.
I have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
I have no special regard for Satan; but, I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may even be that I lean a little his way, on account of his not having a fair show. All religions issue bibles against him, and say the most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side. We have none but the evidence for the prosecution, and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English, it is un-American; it is French.
I asked tom if countries always apologize when they had done wrong, and he says, 'Yes, the little one does.'
I couldn't bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.
I have not a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming vices.
I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That?s bad enough for me.
I deal with temptation by yielding to it.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.