American Sociologist, Life Coach, Author and Speaker
Martha Beck, fully Martha Nibley Beck
American Sociologist, Life Coach, Author and Speaker
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Learning to spot narcissists and deal with their destructive behavior can save you the world of hurt that awaits anyone who mistakes the near enemy for a friend.
Most people think that once they've found their purpose and the power to practice it, they'll finally be at peace. Actually, though, it's only by starting in a place of peace that we find our purpose and power. Peace is the first step and the final lesson we all need to learn.
Own your failure openly, publicly, with genuine regret but absolutely no shame, and you?ll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection-the things you thought you?d get by succeeding. Ironic, isn?t it?
Remember, intimacy increases with honesty. Share less to keep people away and more to draw them closer.
The effect of emotional venting is to sustain an unsatisfactory status quo. Most people think the opposite, that complaining is part of an effort to change an unsatisfying situation. Nope. Complaining lets off pressure so that we neither explode with frustration nor feel compelled to take the often risky steps of openly opposing a difficult person or situation. Keeping emotional pressure tolerably low doesn't change problematic circumstances but rather perpetuates them.
The poet Mary Oliver did this in one of her poems, brazenly asking, Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? If you?re afraid you?ve come to this question too late, you are wrong. Ask your Stargazer self. It will tell you what my fallen-noble friend Marianna told me in one of my darker hours: that the world is re-created in every instant of time, and this moment is always your life?s beginning. No matter how many years have been stolen from you by your own ignorance, by cruel fate, or by the acts of others, you have a clean, broad slate before you. In this instant?this one now?you can begin steering by starlight, and if you do, the rest of creation will conspire to guide, teach, and help you.
There's tons of magic in the world, and it's all science.
True freedom starts with absolute honesty. The moment you call a problem by its real name, you?re already learning how to make it less harmful.
What laughter is to childhood, sex is to adolescence.
Working hard leads to success. Baby mammals, including humans, learn by playing, which is why "the battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton." Boys who'd spent years strategizing for fun gained instinctive skills to handle real-world situations. So play as you did in childhood, with all-out absorption. Watch for ways your childhood playing skills can solve a problem (see #1). Play, not work, is the key to success. While we're on the subject...
Your life is not little, and your playing small doesn?t serve the world. Your living large, on the other hand-your being your true self despite fear, fatigue, doubt, and opposition - will serve the world more than you can imagine. In fact, it may help save it. And saving the world, after all, is what all heroes (including you) are here to do.
If you're feeling abandoned by the world, interact with anyone you can.
It comes from looking at the heart of things, from stopping to smell not only the roses but the bushes as well. It is a quality of attention to ordinary life that is so loving and intimate it is almost worship.
Life is full of tough decisions, and nothing makes them easy. But the worst ones are really your personal koans and tormenting ambivalence is just the sense of satori rising. Try, trust, try, and trust again and eventually you'll feel your mind change its focus to a new level of understanding.
Most unhappy people need to learn just one lesson: how to see themselves through the lens of genuine compassion, and treat themselves accordingly.
Pain is like a life coach in your body. It?s what made me a life coach because I started paying a lot of attention to what made me hurt and what didn?t. It turned out my body was trying to steer me away from a life that was absolutely wrong for me and into a life that was absolutely wonderful.
Rest until you feel like playing, then play until you feel like resting, period. Never do anything else.
The end goal of all of this striving is to live joyfully, and that there are often more direct ways of achieving this than conforming to rigid standards set by social custom.
The position that I take partly as a result of living in Asia is where you stop living according to your expectations and you become available to experience things as they are.
They decided to allow their baby to be born. What they did not realize is that they themselves were the ones who would be 'born,' infants in a new world where magic is commonplace, Harvard professors are the slow learners, and retarded babies are the master teachers.
Trust in your truth. It will be the best decision you ever make.
What should you do now? Find a new way. A better way. Your way. The unknown, uncharted path through this wild new world that allows you---yourself, in your uniqueness--to reclaim the full measure of your true nature.
You are consciousness dressed in form, my love. Consciousness is divine. Matter is divine. Creation is divine. Everything is divine. Are you somehow the only exception?
Your relationship is not supposed to be perfect all the time, your business is not supposed to do well all the time, your souffl‚s are not supposed to raise perfectly all the time. Everything is designed to go wrong so that you can gain the skills of rediscovering your tracks, even in difficult or frightening circumstances. Especially in difficult and frightening circumstances.