American Sociologist, Life Coach, Author and Speaker
Martha Beck, fully Martha Nibley Beck
American Sociologist, Life Coach, Author and Speaker
Most of our stress and suffering come not from events, but from our thoughts. Reframe from negative thoughts, and stress subsides.
Occasionally, especially at celebratory times, the whole gang of us would launch into a spontaneous mental game. For example, my mother used to send me to the back porch (a room containing no furniture but a simply incredible mass of Stuff) to get flour for holiday cakes or pies. I often returned to the kitchen, cringing with disgust, to announce that the flour was full of worms. No matter how sick this made me, I knew it wuoldn't bother my mother. She always just sifted the worms out, saying that even if she missed a few and they got into the food, they would simply be an excellent source of protein. Just as we were all beginning to feel thoroughly downtrodden, my father would save the day. Everyone come up with a literary reference about worms! he would shout.
Relinquishing the delusional hope that we can or must be flawless?allows us to seek happiness in the only place it can be found: our real, messy, imperfect experience.
The average adult laughs 15 times a day; the average child, more than 400 times.
The part of you that is unhampered by illusion-the illusion of time, the illusion of powerlessness, the illusion of impossibility-i s waiting for you to slow down and open up so that it can speak to your consciousness. In some unguarded moment, you will hear its wildly improbable words and know that they are guiding you home.
There has never been, and never will be, anyone who sees, thinks, or responds exactly the way you do. Whether you?re revolutionizing physics or making a quilt, you must display your differences to make a difference.
To live a life that is wrong for you is a form of dying. There are people who have lives that look perfect. They try to be happy, they believe they should be happy, they are trying to like it, but if it's off course from their north star, they aren't satisfied.
Welcoming imperfection is the way to accomplish what perfectionism promises but never delivers. It gives us our best performance and genuine acceptance in the family of human -- and by that I mean imperfect -- beings.
Where your attention goes, your life goes.
Your first daily priority should be stillness, attention to what you really know and what you really feel.
A true leader is not someone who feels fully informed but someone who continuously receives insight and guidance.
Anything you're trying to will is focused on the future; it's always associated with some sort of anxiety that makes the present moment somewhat uncomfortable.
Conflict in close relationships is not only inevitable, it's essential. Intimacy connects people who are inevitably different.
Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but the rhythm of emotional pain that we learn to tolerate is natural, constructive and expansive? The pain leaves you healthier than it found you.
Given the eclectic and constantly shifting nature of my metaphysical inclinations, I will probably never feel certain exactly what an angel is.
I explain to everyone I deal with-co-workers, children, friends-that I'm transitionally challenged and they should call me on my cell phone if I'm even a few minutes late. Such calls often come in when I'm happily writing or rearranging the furniture. The monochromes in my life are so organized, they have no trouble remembering to remind me to show up.
If a problem looks difficult, relax. If it looks impossible, relax even more. Then begin encouraging small changes, putting just enough pressure on yourself to move one turtle step forward. Then rest, savor, celebrate. Then step again. You?ll find that slow is fast, gentle is powerful, and stillness moves mountains.
Absolutely lonely people have few personal interactions of any kind.
As any good Buddhist will tell you, the only way to find permanent joy is by embracing the fact that nothing is permanent.
Connecting with the people who are meant to be part of your own North Star is much more important than any aspect of business. It's the essence of happiness, the full realization of your potential for joy.
Empathetic hosting plays to the guest's needs and wants, but?as paradoxical as this may sound?you do it to please yourself, too.
Good fortune has side effects.
I fell in love with Africa and began helping people fix things there.
If all my wishes came true right now, life would be perfect. Check it out: People who have what you want are all over rehab clinics, divorce courts, and jails. That's because good fortune has side effects, just like medications advertised on TV. Basically, any external thing we depend on to make us feel good has the power to make us feel bad. Weirdly, when you've stopped depending on tangible rewards, they often materialize. To attract something you want, become as joyful as you think that thing would make you. The joy, not the thing, is the point.
Adam has angels like a dog has fleas. He came here with them, and the more time you spend around him, the more likely you are to get them yourself.