Melvin "Mel" Helitzer

Melvin "Mel"
Helitzer
1924
2009

American Educator, Professor in the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism at Ohio University

Author Quotes

Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.

I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me. I'm just not sure I've got the ability to make it interesting.

I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm, talent, and wit. Unfortunately, he couldn't be here tonight, so instead . . .

When asked to contribute ten dollars to a lawyer's funeral, I said: "Here's fifty. Bury five of them."

One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today, but you will be a great deal older.

Good humor is a paradox. The unexpected juxtaposition of the reasonable next to the unreasonable.

Humor results from the contrast between a thing as it is and a thing smashed out of shape, as it ought not to be.

Author Picture
First Name
Melvin "Mel"
Last Name
Helitzer
Birth Date
1924
Death Date
2009
Bio

American Educator, Professor in the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism at Ohio University