Oscar Levant


Concert Pianist, Composer, Author, Comedian and Actor on Radio, Movies and Television

Author Quotes

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

My last picture for Warner?s was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.

I don't drink. I don't like it, it makes me feel good.

Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends,...they are the ones that keep me walking the floor nights.

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. [On Dwight D. Eisenhower]

I once said cynically of a politician, "He'll double-cross that bridge when he comes to it."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I really am suffering from amnesia, because I took shock treatments, and it reminds me I was - I came back from the hospital, and I was watching a television - an old picture with Ralph Richardson in where he's suffering from amnesia. And my wife came in, my wonderful wife, she really is, and said what are you watching? I said there's a movie with Ralph Richardson in it about amnesia. He's suffering from amnesia. I want to see how it turns out. She said but you saw it last week.

She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.

I remember when he [Ira Gershwin] was given the manuscript of a novel written by a woman friend who had hopes of having it published. To his astonishment it turned out to be the dirtiest, most pornographic book he had ever read. When the lady mentioned that she intended to use a nom de plume, Ira suggested she call herself Henrietta Miller.

So consequently, I've been devoting my time to writing a book called "Memoirs of a Man Suffering from Amnesia," and I don't have a page filled.

I stumble and then I fall into a coma.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath.

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

I?m a concert pianist. That?s a pretentious way of saying I?m unemployed at the moment.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me .

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Concert Pianist, Composer, Author, Comedian and Actor on Radio, Movies and Television