Oscar Levant


Concert Pianist, Composer, Author, Comedian and Actor on Radio, Movies and Television

Author Quotes

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

I?m a concert pianist. That?s a pretentious way of saying I?m unemployed at the moment.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me .

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility - there are so few of us left.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

It?s not what your are, it?s what you don?t become that hurts.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

Hypochondria, manic depression and addictions.

I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. [explaining his way out of a speeding ticket]

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

You know, when you're suffering from deep depression, you cannot make a decision. I first had deep apathy, then relapsed into deep depression. Gee, how I long for those deep apathy days.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

My last picture for Warner?s was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.

I don't drink. I don't like it, it makes me feel good.

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Concert Pianist, Composer, Author, Comedian and Actor on Radio, Movies and Television