Great Throughts Treasury

"Clippy got that pervert-on-the-playground look again.."

""A Wrinkle," she said. And then added enigmatically, "The universe is pleated.""

"I looked at Judy as calmly as I could. ?Music and movie piracy...? I slipped into a dramatic pause as I desperately tried to come up with some idea, any idea. I scanned the room for inspiration, briefly glimpsed Randy-- I had my answer. ...are terrorism."

"I used to think that English-speaking who conveniently look, dress, and act human only turned up in lazy science fiction. But as Carly and Frampton dematerialized, I became grimly aware of how well they'd also fit into a psychotic hallucination."

""I'm afraid the music industry actually cares immensely about even the remotest markets," I said. "In fact, almost every contract that it generates contains language like this." I picked up a document at random from my desk and gazed at it." 'The terms of this contract shall apply past the end of time and the edge of Earth; all throughout the universe; in perpetuity; in any media, whether now known, or hereafter devised; or in any form, whether now known, or hereafter devised.' " I actually know this clause by heart, and can reel it off like a cop reciting the Miranda rights. But unless I pretend to read it from a document, people think I must be joking."

"And like most of her peers, Barbara Ann has a French postal worker's sense of divine entitlement when it comes to her hours."

"Music licensing is an arcane thicket of ambiguity, overlapping jurisdictions, and litigation. This is a disastrous situation for musicians, as well as for music fans and countless businesses. In fact, it suits absolutely nobody -- apart from the cynical lawyers who run the music labels, the lobbying groups, the House, the Senate, and several parasitic law firms like my own. Collectively, we are wholly empowered to fix the entire mess. But that would result in a needless loss of extravagantly high-paying legal work for all. So we indignantly denounce the situation to our respective patrons, wave our fists at each other in public, and then privately chuckle slyly over drinks. In this environment, conversations with prospective clients need to be handled delicately. You don't want them to look back later and think that you were overpromising in a no-win situation. But you certainly don't want to talk them out of attempting the impossible."

"Now, I?ve never heard a rabid hyena shriek from rectal acid burns. But I?ll bet that sounds a lot like Mllsh-mllsh introducing a guest."

"The first MP3 player was a big Christmas hit, because what little hoodlum wouldn't want a million and a half bucks-worth of stolen goods in his pocket?"