Robert Benchley, fully Robert Charles Benchley

Robert
Benchley, fully Robert Charles Benchley
1889
1945

American Humorist, Newspaper Columnist and Film Actor

Author Quotes

I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something.... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.

I can't quite define my aversion to asking questions of strangers. From snatches of family battles which I have heard drifting up from railway stations and street corners, I gather that there are a great many men who share my dislike for it, as well as an equal number of women who ... believe it to be the solution to most of this world's problems.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.

I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by purists.

Go jogging? What, and get hit by a meteor?

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

Consider the number of young people all over the world who are getting married, day in and day out, for no other reason than that someone of the opposite sex looks well in a green jersey or sings baritone, and then tell me that divorce has reached menacing proportions. The surface of divorce has not even been scratched yet.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

As the storm came nearer I began to realize that I hadn't made the most of my three years' immunity. In fact, I hadn't done a single thing about cleaning up my life. I was, if anything, an even more logical target for lightning than the last time I was in range. And thunderstorms don't creep up on you at seven o'clock in the morning in a non-thunderstorm country for nothing, you know. I lined up a rather panicky schedule of reforms.

Anyone will be glad to admit that he knows nothing about beagling, or the Chinese stock market, or ballistics, but there is not a man or woman alive who does not claim to know how to cure hiccoughs.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

A freelance writer is one who is paid per word, per piece, or perhaps.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

Author Picture
First Name
Robert
Last Name
Benchley, fully Robert Charles Benchley
Birth Date
1889
Death Date
1945
Bio

American Humorist, Newspaper Columnist and Film Actor