Russell Baker. fully Russell Wayne Baker

Russell
Baker. fully Russell Wayne Baker
1925

American Journalist, Pulitzer Prize-winning Writer, Author, Humorist and Political Satirist

Author Quotes

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems than you have to.

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

Voters inclined to loathe and fear elite Ivy League schools rarely make fine distinctions between Yale and Harvard. All they know is that both are full of rich, fancy, stuck-up and possibly dangerous intellectuals who never sit down to supper in their undershirt no matter how hot the weather gets.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

What [man landing on the moon] is doing up there is indulging his obsession with the impossible. The impossible infuriates and tantalizes him. Show him an impossible job and he will reduce it to a possibility so trite that eventually it bores him.

All politicians are humble, and seldom let you forget it. They go around the country boasting about their humility. They are proud of their humility. Many are downright arrogant about their humility and insist that it qualifies them to be President.

In politics, the rare candidate who is serious, like Adlai Stevenson, is easily overwhelmed by one who is solemn, like General Eisenhower. This is probably because it is hard for most people to recognize seriousness, which is rare, especially in politics, but comfortable to endorse solemnity, which is as commonplace as jogging.

Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

In television-land we are all sophisticated enough now to realize that every statistic has an equal and opposite statistic somewhere in the universe. It is not a candidate's favorite statistic per se that engages us, but the assurance with which he can use it.

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.

When compelled to cook, I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious — just dead wrong.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him, and the three major classifications are based on the method each object uses to achieve its purpose. As a general rule, any object capable of breaking down at the moment when it is most needed will do so.

Scientists have been struck by the fact that things that break down virtually never get lost, while things that get lost hardly ever break down.

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

So there he is at last. Man on the moon. The poor magnificent bungler! He can't even get to the office without undergoing the agonies of the damned, but give him a little metal, a few chemicals, some wire, and twenty or thirty billion dollars and, vroom! there he is, up on a rock a quarter of a million miles up in the sky.

When you're the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond.

As in some primitive ritual, we all agree — candidates and onlookers — to pretend we are involved in a debate, although the real exercise is a test of style and manners. Which of the competitors can better execute the intricate maneuvers prescribed by a largely irrelevant ritual?

Author Picture
First Name
Russell
Last Name
Baker. fully Russell Wayne Baker
Birth Date
1925
Bio

American Journalist, Pulitzer Prize-winning Writer, Author, Humorist and Political Satirist