Victor Borge, born Børge Rosenbaum

Borge, born Børge Rosenbaum

Danish American Entertainer, Humorist, Conductor and Pianist

Author Quotes

I don't know if you're familiar with the fact but Bach had approximately 20 to 30 children and I guess that goes for Mrs. Bach too.

Mr. Azruni's uncle lives in Istanbul and is a road engineer. He was run over by a steam roller about five months ago and is still in the hospital in Room 21 to 27.

This is a request from a lady (I sincerely hope). She is an elderly lady. Ah she's an old lady... you might as well face it.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

This is a wonderful orchestra. Every musician is an artist in her or his own right. It's only when we play together that we might have a little problem.

I don't mind growing old...I'm just not used to it.

My grandfather gave me this watch...a few minutes before he died...for 20 tax!

Usually I don't do request numbers unless of course I have been asked to do so.

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.

We have a neighbor, well who doesn't...but he's our next window neighbor, because he does not have a door at that end of the house!

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Of course I play only excerpts. (Pause) I don't know the whole thing that is.

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

When you go home, please drive home extremely carefully...extremely carefully. Because I walk in my sleep!

(Holds someone's red tie) Oh, I thought you were bleeding.

I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.

Pete (Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky) was born in Votkinsk, May 7 1840. When he was a little boy he never played out in the streets of Votkinsk like the other little children of Votkinsk because when Tchaikovsky was one month old his parents moved to St. Petersburg.

Who exploded? (Responding to a sneeze from the audience)

(Talking of his two children) Mine are twins though. Both of them.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward... The rest goes to the government!

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

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Borge, born Børge Rosenbaum
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Danish American Entertainer, Humorist, Conductor and Pianist