Go away you silly pigeons and don't come back until you can shit green.
I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
I had this Melanesian belle, a comely looking lass, and I was headed for the shrubbery, which grows very lush in those parts. Well, her husband was following behind holding a forefinger up in the air and crying, 'One dollah, one dollah!'
Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible."
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
There's an Ethiopian in the fuel supply.
WC: You know, if anyone ever comes in here and gives you a $10 tip, scrutinize it carefully; there's a lot of counterfeit money going around. Waitress: If I get any counterfeit nickels or pennies, I'll know where they came from.