Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whisky.
A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
I never saw anything funny that wasn’t terrible. If it causes pain, it’s funny; if it doesn’t, it isn’t. I try to hide the pain with embarrassment, and the more I do that, the better they like it. But that does not mean they are unsympathetic. Oh no, they laugh often with tears in their eyes.