Will Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers

Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers

American Cowboy, Actor, Humorist, Social Commentator and Vaudeville Performer

Author Quotes

There is a great tendency all over the country now to be high-brow. More people should work for their dinner instead of dressing for it.

There is nothing effeminate about this golf thing as played by these champion women.

There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.

These baccalaureate addresses given to graduates don’t offer ’em much encouragement outside of advising ’em to vote the straight Republican ticket.

This country is not where it is today on account of any one man. It is here on account of the real common sense of the Big Normal Majority.

Wall Street is being investigated, but they are not asleep while it's being done. You see where the Senate took that tax off the sales of stocks, didn't you? Saved 'em $48,000,000. Now, why don't somebody investigate the Senate and see who got to them to get that tax removed? That would be a real investigation.

We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse.

We have the best Congress money can buy.

Well, all I know is just what I read in the papers or what I run into prowling around. A couple of weeks ago out here in the City of Angels we had quite a distinguished gathering. They called themselves the American Bar Association, and they was quite an array. I went down one night just as the thing was getting started and did some rough and tumbled blathering for 'em. What I mean is I made a speech.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

The Republicans mopped up, the Democrats gummed up, and I will now try and sum up. Things are terribly dull now. We won’t have any more serious comedy until Congress meets.

The Ways and Means Committee is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means.

There is a horse here--the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes.

There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

There never was such a demand for speed, for less reason. There is not a one of us that couldn’t walk where we are going and then get there earlier than we have any business.

These dust storms.... Poor farmer spent a lifetime fixin' his farm and everything, goes out and looks down at it, and it's up above him.

This country just civic luncheoned itself into depression. If they will all go home and eat with their own families, they will not only get their first good lunch in years, but will be surprised how much more intelligently their own wife can talk than the “speaker of the day.”

War talk in Europe has pretty near died out on account of no international conferences being held. They haven’t got much chance of getting sore at each other.

We cuss the lawmakers. But I notice we’re always perfectly willing to share in any of the sums of money that they might distribute.

We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.

Well, all I know is just what I read in the papers. And say I had to read plenty in the paper the other day. There is a paper got out in Detroit, Michigan. It's called the Legal Record. It says it's a paper dedicated to the interests of the legal profession. That dedication that's printed on its front page in big type shows that it's a paper that has nothing to do with news or facts, and I like the honesty of it. It tells you right off we take nothing but the lawyer's side. (For there ain't any other side.) Well the headline as follows to wit, habus corpus, nolle prose, change of venue as follows: The legal profession as a humorist sees it.

When in doubt, tell a funny ’til you see what the other fellow is going to do.

The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor.

The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell 'em.

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Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers
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American Cowboy, Actor, Humorist, Social Commentator and Vaudeville Performer