Will Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers

Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers

American Cowboy, Actor, Humorist, Social Commentator and Vaudeville Performer

Author Quotes

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.

Their greatest trait to recommend the Democrats is optimism and humor. You've got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one.

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.

There is one thing in common with all revolutions (in fact they are pretty near like wars in that respect) nobody ever knows what they are fighting about.

There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.

They ought to pass a rule in this country in any investigations if a man can’t tell the truth the first time he shouldn’t be allowed to try again.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.

We only have one or two wars in a lifetime. But we have three meals a day. When you have helped raise the standard of cooking then you would have raised the only thing in the world that matters.

What constitutes a life well spent, anyway? Love and admiration from your fellow men is all that any one can ask.

When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with."

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

Theories are great, they sound great, but the minute you are asked to prove one in actual life, why the thing blows up.

There is no income tax in Russia. But there’s no income.

There is only one redeeming thing about this whole election. It will be over at sundown, and let everybody pray that it's not a tie, for we couldn't go through with this thing again.

There wasn't any Republicans in Washington's day. No Republicans, no Boll Weevil, no income tax, no cover charge, no disarmament conference, no luncheon clubs, no stop lights, no static, no head winds. My Lord, living in those days, who wouldn't be great?

They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now they take your car and if they are caught it's a miracle.

This would be a great time in the world for some man to come along that knew something.

We are all ignorant. We are just ignorant about different things.

We don't seem to be able to (stop) crime, so why not legalize it and put a heavy tax on it. We have taxed other industries out of business; it might work here.

We owe more money than any Nation in the World, and we are LOWERING TAXES. When is the time to pay off a debt if it is not when you are doing well? You let a Politician return home from Washington and announce, 'Boys we lowered your taxes. We had to borrow the money to do it, but we did it.' Say, they would elect him for life.

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Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers
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American Cowboy, Actor, Humorist, Social Commentator and Vaudeville Performer