Will Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers

Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers

American Cowboy, Actor, Humorist, Social Commentator and Vaudeville Performer

Author Quotes

Villains are getting as thick as college degrees and sometimes on the same fellow.

We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

We have some great ideas, but most of 'em come too late to do us any good.

Well the lawyers of the. American Bar Association convention are leaving us. Think they had a good time. Like all conventions, they didn't do a thing. No convention ever did anything. If this country ever becomes civilized the first thing eliminated would be people gadding around to get to a convention. And the humorous thing about `em is they always wait and hold `em in the hottest weather. Convention slogans should be, Let's meet and perspire together.

When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like." I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.

The one way to detect a feeble-minded man is get one arguing on economics.

The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.

The United States Senate opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

There is a great tendency all over the country now to be high-brow. More people should work for their dinner instead of dressing for it.

There is nothing effeminate about this golf thing as played by these champion women.

There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.

These baccalaureate addresses given to graduates don’t offer ’em much encouragement outside of advising ’em to vote the straight Republican ticket.

This country is not where it is today on account of any one man. It is here on account of the real common sense of the Big Normal Majority.

Wall Street is being investigated, but they are not asleep while it's being done. You see where the Senate took that tax off the sales of stocks, didn't you? Saved 'em $48,000,000. Now, why don't somebody investigate the Senate and see who got to them to get that tax removed? That would be a real investigation.

We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse.

We have the best Congress money can buy.

Well, all I know is just what I read in the papers or what I run into prowling around. A couple of weeks ago out here in the City of Angels we had quite a distinguished gathering. They called themselves the American Bar Association, and they was quite an array. I went down one night just as the thing was getting started and did some rough and tumbled blathering for 'em. What I mean is I made a speech.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

The Republicans mopped up, the Democrats gummed up, and I will now try and sum up. Things are terribly dull now. We won’t have any more serious comedy until Congress meets.

The Ways and Means Committee is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means.

There is a horse here--the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes.

There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

There never was such a demand for speed, for less reason. There is not a one of us that couldn’t walk where we are going and then get there earlier than we have any business.

These dust storms.... Poor farmer spent a lifetime fixin' his farm and everything, goes out and looks down at it, and it's up above him.

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Rogers, fully William Penn Adair "Will" Rogers
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American Cowboy, Actor, Humorist, Social Commentator and Vaudeville Performer