The camel has a single hump; The dromedary, two; or else the other way around, I'm never sure. Are you?
The song of canaries never varies, and when they're molting they're pretty revolting.
There was a young belle of old Natchez whose garments were always in patchez; when comment arose on the state of her clothes, she drawled, "When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez!"
When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
You scour the Bowery, ransack the Bronx, through funeral parlors and honky-tonks. From river to river you comb the town for a place to lay your family down.
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other, milk.
The taxes last us all year.
There?s nothing that keeps its youth so far as I know, but a tree and the truth.
When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when it seems I've married one of Shakespeare's dreams.
Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy, you've had about seven hours' sleep since Friday, no wonder you feel that lost sensation; you're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
The day your descendants outnumber your friends.
The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat.
These are enlightened days in which you can get hot water and cold water out of the same spigot, and everybody has something about which they are proud to be broad-minded but they also have other things about which you would be wasting your breath if you tried to convince them that they were a bigot.
When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.
The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
The truth I do not stretch or shove when I state that the dog is full of love. I've also found, by actual test, a wet dog is the lovingest.
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests.
When people reject a truth or an untruth it is not because it is a truth or an untruth that they reject it. No, if it isn't in accord with their beliefs in the first place they simply say, "Nothing doing," and refuse to inspect it.
Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or millionaires, think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs.
The garden is a raging sea, the hurricane is snarling; oh, happy you and happy me! Isn't the lightning darling?
The turtle lives twixt plated decks which practically conceal its sex. I think it clever of the turtle in such a fix to be so fertile.
They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can.
When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite for G-d, for country, and Fahrenheit.
Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.
The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid, he had one eye in the middle of his forehead.