Ogden Nash


American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse

Author Quotes

How do I feel today? I feel as unfit as an unfiddle, and it is the result of a certain turbulence in the mind and an uncertain burbulence in the middle. What was it, anyway, that angry thing that flew at me? I am unused to banshees crying Boo at me. Your wife can?t be a banshee? Or can she?

I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.

Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how. Some people think they will eventually wear diamonds instead of rhinestones only by everlastingly keeping their noses to their ghrinestones

Malt does more than Hubbard did to help us look into the Id.

No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.

Passivity can be a provoking modus operandi; consider the Empire and Gandhi.

Senescence begins and middle-age ends the day your descendants outnumber your friends.

Celery, raw, develops the jaw, but celery, stewed, is more easily chewed.

Fear not the thunder, little one. It's weather, simply weather; it's friendly giants full of fun clapping their hands together.

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

I prefer to forget both pairs of glasses and pass my declining years saluting strange women and grandfather clocks.

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

Nothing there but basketball, a game which won?t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

She took those pills from the pill concocter, and Isabel calmly cured the doctor.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

First let the rockets flash and the cannon thunder, this child is a marvel, a matchless wonder. A staggering child, a child astounding, dazzling, diaperless, dumfounding, stupendous, miraculous, unsurpassed, a child to stagger and flabbergast, bright as a button, sharp as a thorn,

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds, I leave no tern unstoned

I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them.

Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them.

May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink, and the little gray mouse, she called him Blink, and the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard, but the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

People expect old men to die, they do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People look at them with eyes that wonder when... People watch with unshocked eyes; but the old men know when an old man dies.

Silly girl, silver girl, draw the mirror toward you; time who makes the years to whirl adorned as he adored you.

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American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse