Ogden Nash


American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse

Author Quotes

If called by a Panther, don't anther.

Leave the earth to the strong and athletic, and the sea to adventure upon. But the sun and the sand no contractor can copy; we lie in the land of the lotus and poppy; we vegetate, calm and aesthetic, on the beach, on the sand, in the sun.

My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean.

Once in a night as black as pitch Isabel met a wicked old witch. the witch's face was cross and wrinkled, the witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled.Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed,I'll turn you into an ugly toad!

Progress may have been all right once, but it has gone on too long

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears, and Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs, Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage, but Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends.

Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.

I give you now Professor Twist the conscientious scientist. Trustees exclaimed, He never bungles and sent him off to distant jungles. Camped on a tropic riverside one day he missed his lovely bride. The guide informed him later she had been eaten by an alligator. Professor Twist could not but smile. You mean, he said a crocodile.

If some confectioners were willing to let the shape announce the filling, we'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, bitten into and returned to the box.

Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our childer.

My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky; contrariwise, my blood runs cold when little boys go by. For little boys as little boys, no special hate I carry, but now and then they grow to men, and when they do, they marry. No matter how they tarry, eventually they marry. And, swine among the pearls, they marry little girls.

One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even be defined, Because everything is not gold that glisters and everything is not a tear that glistens, And one man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads and not the road.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Here's a good rule of thumb: Too clever, is dumb.

I have a bone to pick with Fate / Come here and tell me, girlie, / Do you think my mind is maturing late,/ Or simply rotting early?

If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn't by Scott.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

My verse represents a handle I can grasp in order not to yield to the centrifugal forces which are trying to throw me off of the world.

One would be in less danger from the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith were more fun to be with.

Ringing wrong but similar numbers.

Bitten into and returned to the box.

Every Englishman knows one thing - that to be an Englishman is the best thing there is.

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American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse