Ogden Nash


American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse

Author Quotes

His fun and money soon quadruples.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.

Naturally I am not pointing a finger at me, but I must admit that I find Mr. Ickes or any other speaker far more convincing when I agree with him than when I disagree.

Other people, and it doesn't matter if they are Scandinavians or Celts, think that anything is better than theirs just because it belongs to somebody else.

Samson Agonistes: I test my bath before I sit, and I'm always moved to wonderment that what chills the finger not a bit is so frigid upon the fundament.

Bugs. Adam had'em.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Home is heaven and orgies are vile but you need an orgy, once in a while.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

In the words of the poet, When Duty whispers low, Thou must, this erstwhile youth replies, I just can't.

Listen, buds, it's March twenty first; don't you know enough to burst? Come on, birds, unlock your throats! Come on, gardeners, shed your coats!

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Senator Smoot (Republican, Ut.) is planning a ban on smut. Oh rooti-ti-toot for Smoot of Ut. And his reverend occiput. Smite, Smoot, smite for Ut., Grit your molars and do your dut., Gird up your l__ns, Smite h_p and th_gh, We'll all be Kansas By and by.

But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.

Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby, which accounts for the success of such plays as the Irish Rose of Abie, the idea apparently being that just by being fruitful. You are doing something beautiful, which if it is true means that the common housefly is several million times more beautiful than me or you.

How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; one day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

I hope of lightning our supply will never be exhausted; you know it's lanterns in the sky for angels who are losted.

In the world of mules there are no rules.

Love is a word that is constantly heard, hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious that gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, and love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, but hating, my boy, is an art.

No, I object to one kind of apology alone,

Parsley is gharsley.

Senator Smoot is an institute not to be bribed with pelf; he guards our homes from erotic tomes by reading them all himself.

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American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse