Ogden Nash


American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse

Author Quotes

Nothing there but basketball, a game which won?t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

She took those pills from the pill concocter, and Isabel calmly cured the doctor.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

First let the rockets flash and the cannon thunder, this child is a marvel, a matchless wonder. A staggering child, a child astounding, dazzling, diaperless, dumfounding, stupendous, miraculous, unsurpassed, a child to stagger and flabbergast, bright as a button, sharp as a thorn,

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds, I leave no tern unstoned

I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them.

Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them.

May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink, and the little gray mouse, she called him Blink, and the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard, but the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

People expect old men to die, they do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People look at them with eyes that wonder when... People watch with unshocked eyes; but the old men know when an old man dies.

Silly girl, silver girl, draw the mirror toward you; time who makes the years to whirl adorned as he adored you.

Any kiddies in school can love like a fool, but hating, my boy, is an art.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

God in his wisdom made the fly and then forgot to tell us why

I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry, Isabel didn't scream or scurry. She washed her hands and she straightened her hair up, then Isabel quietly ate the bear up.

Maybe I couldn't be dafter, but I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.

Now, anybody whom a German hates, He presently exterminates, But he who exterminates a French Is never safe from Gallic revenge, But he who gets even with a German Is obliterated like a vermin.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it, and I wish I could afford to gather all such people into a gloomy castle on the Danube and hire half a dozen capable Draculas to haunt it. I don?t mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, sleep is perverse as a legislature, sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, and where it is least desired, it loiters.

At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station and not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.

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American Poet Know as Writer of Light Verse