Shlomo Wolbe, aka Wilhelm Wolbe

Wolbe, aka Wilhelm Wolbe

German-born Israeli Haredi Rabbi and Author, best know for Alei Shur

Author Quotes

How much patience is needed to raise our children! Our pen would run dry if
we attempted to discuss the myriad specific instances of child rearing that
demand our patience and a positive/pleasant approach. This is not the place
to delve into the many issues regarding the education of our children.
However, this we must establish clearly: One does not educate with
screaming and smacking! It is a pathetic situation when the only thought of
parents regarding the education and rearing of their children is when to smack
them… Woe to such an “education!” It is only with infinite patience that we
can arrive at a thoughtful response, and a guidance that is built upon the
individual nature of the child, thus fulfilling the verse, “Educate the youth
according to his way/nature.” (Proverbs 22:6)

Patience in the home, with one’s family, requires a separate and unique
treatment. The closer the relationship is, the more patience that relationship
demands. We come into contact with our friends from time to time, and even
when we do, we rarely will quarrel or become angry. In contrast, we come into
contact with our neighbors all the time and thus struggle through many
instances requiring patience. Indeed, it is more difficult to be a good neighbor
than a good friend. However, it is most difficult to maintain our patience when
it comes to our family, with whom we spend our days and nights, through all
types of situations. It is fair to say that the middah which sustains a proper
household is patience.

One who possesses patience continues bestowing goodness
after being insulted or witnessing sin, exactly as before. He does not withhold
his kindness from the one who insulted him or has sinned. This requires the
ability to think precisely, to make fine distinction between subtleties. Only such
a deep thinker will realize that true patience demands that he continue
bestowing goodness and kindness without any change even when a response
to the insult or sin is called for. A measured response should come, but never
amid the abandonment of the goodness and kindness that is the very physical
and spiritual sustenance of the other individual.

Indeed, [patience] is the first of the thirteen attributes of [God’s] mercy,
through which Hashem “carries/bears” His world. Without it we would be
unable to exist for even one day. Regarding this trait we are enjoined to
emulate Hashem’s ways; through it man, too, “carries/bears” his world. Like
Hashem, man bestows goodness, kindness, light of face,
and peace upon his
surroundings. If, Heaven forbid, one is unable to act as a “suffering king,” such
that when another individual insults him or commits a sin, he immediately
hides his face and ceases to bestow goodness, kindness and peace, he too
destroys the world! Now, my wise student of Torah, meditate deeply upon thishow you carry/bear your world, bestowing life and kindness, goodness and
peace on everything that surrounds you. This reflection will bring you to
realize that only through cultivating your attribute of patience can you truly
bear the burden of your world, always, and without interruption, not causing
destruction, Heaven forbid. Destruction literally, without exaggeration!

One who desire the attention of others has not yet found himself.

When we are feeling critical, we cannot feel love.

Nothing destroys the potential for parents to have a close relationship with their children as disciplining through excessive fear. When children are still young, parents should be aware that one day their children will become independent. Parents who frequently use fear as a weapon create negative feelings in their children. When they grow up, those children are likely to rebel against their parents and go their own way.

The essence of envy is a deep desire to be someone else. In its extreme form it is a complete nullification of oneself.

The most feared event in a person’s life is death. But we have the ability to transform our death into the greatest act we will perform in our entire life. We can perceive death as our total submission to the will of the Almighty and find tremendous spiritual elevation.

The only person who can have “everything” is one who can be satisfied with his minimum requirements of food and clothing, and the Creator is the center of his world.

When you have desires to do something wrong, you might feel so embarrassed with yourself for not being on a higher level that you try to repress those desires and forget about them. This is a mistake since it is not dealing with the problem but covering it up. Ignoring your inner feelings and reactions is dangerous. Be aware of what you desire, and have a dialogue with yourself to overcome it.

From the very beginning of a person’s life one learns that the purpose of life is not uninterrupted pleasure. Every infant suffers pains and illnesses. We should not perceive illness and pain as negative. Suffering teaches us humility. We learn that we do not have complete power over ourselves.

The greatest manifestation of your love for the Almighty can be expressed on your day of death. Before your death, you might be thinking about how you have not fulfilled all of your wishes and plans. In the moments before your death you might have complaints against the Almighty, or you might fatalistically accept your death by saying, What can be done? My body is giving in to the laws of nature. The doctors have given up hope.” Both of these attitudes are wrong You now face the greatest challenge of your life. You have the potential to submit yourself to the will of the Almighty with love. This level takes preparation. If a person has not mastered control of his thoughts, he is likely to waste his last moments thinking of petty resentments and desires. Frequently confusion and fear of death swallow up every other thought unless one has prepared for that moment.

Do not measure yourself with anybody else’s yardstick. Your obligation is to accomplish with your own unique talents. you do not need anybody else’s approval to be a worthy person.

Every person in the world waits for signs of recognition and affection from others.

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Wolbe, aka Wilhelm Wolbe
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German-born Israeli Haredi Rabbi and Author, best know for Alei Shur