Stephen Covey, fully Stephen Richards Covey

Covey, fully Stephen Richards Covey

American Author, Educator, Businessman, Trainer, Motivational Speaker best known for his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Author Quotes

When relationships are strained and the air charged with emotion, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection.

We tend to get what we expect ? both from ourselves and from others. When we expect more, we tend to get more; when we expect less, we tend to get less.

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve.

When the external factors over which one has no control in a way start to become negative, it starts to affect our creative juices.

Well, why don?t you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen that saw? you inquire. I?m sure it would go a lot faster.

Whatever your present situation, I assure you that you are not your habits. You can replace old patterns of self-defeating behavior with new patterns, new habits of effectiveness, happiness, and trust-based relationships.

When the history of the world and of institutions, societies, communities, families and individuals is finally written, the dominant theme will be the degree to which people have lived not by their socialized conscience but by their divine conscience. That is the innate, intuitive wisdom contained in the principles or natural laws that are taught in all the major religions and enduring philosophies of the world. It won?t be geopolitics, economics, government, wars, social culture, art, education or churches. The moral or spiritual dimension ? how true people and institutions are to universal, timeless principles of right and wrong ? will be the overarching and underlying supreme governing force.

We're responsible for our own lives.

When air is charged with emotions, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection.

When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart.

When all you want is a person's body and you don't really want their mind, heart or spirit, you have reduced a person to a thing.

When two people in a marriage are more concerned about getting the golden eggs, the benefits, than they are in preserving the relationship that makes them possible, they often become insensitive and inconsiderate, neglecting the little kindnesses and courtesies so important to a deep relationship. They begin to use control levers to manipulate each other, to focus on their own needs, to justify their own position and look for evidence to show the wrongness of the other person. The love, the richness, the softness and spontaneity begin to deteriorate. The goose gets sicker day by day.

What happens when you manage people like things? They stop believing that leadership can become a choice.

When another person speaks, we're usually "listening" at one of four levels. We may be ignoring another person, not really listening at all. We may practice pretending. "Yeah. Uh-huh. Right." We may practice selective listening, hearing only certain parts of the conversation. We often do this when we're listening to the constant chatter of a preschool child. Or we may even practice attentive listening, paying attention and focusing energy on the words that are being said. But very few of us ever practice the fifth level, the highest form of listening, empathic listening.

When we look at the problem and the burden it comes from us, just when it is actually we who problematic. while the Chinese proverb says from the curse of darkness is better to take a candle and turn.

What is common sense isn't common practice.

When I look back on my life nowadays, which I sometimes do, what strikes me most forcibly about it is that what seemed at the time most significant and seductive, seems now most futile and absurd.

When we look through the lens of each other?s weaknesses, we make others? strengths irrelevant and their weaknesses more evident.

What is important to the other person must be as important to you as the other person is to you.

When I say empathic listening, I am not referring to the techniques of "active" listening or "reflective" listening, which basically involve mimicking what another person says. That kind of listening is skill-based, truncated from character and relationships, and often insults those "listened" to in such a way. It is also essentially autobiographical. If you practice those techniques, you may not project your autobiography in the actual interaction, but your motive in listening is autobiographical. You listen with reflective skills, but you listen with intent to reply, to control, to manipulate.

What is moral authority? It is the principled use of our freedom and power to choose. Natural laws (like gravity) and principles (like respect, honesty, kindness, integrity, service and fairness) control the consequences of our choices. By the principled, humble use of freedom and power, the humble person obtains moral authority with people, cultures, organization and entire societies.

When I say empathic listening, I mean listening with intent to understand. I mean seeking first to understand, to really understand. It's an entirely different paradigm. Empathic (from empathy) listening gets inside another person's frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel.

What is most personal, is most general.

When I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind.

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Covey, fully Stephen Richards Covey
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American Author, Educator, Businessman, Trainer, Motivational Speaker best known for his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People