Charles Barkley, fully Charles Wade Barkley

Barkley, fully Charles Wade Barkley

American Professional Basketball Player and Television Analyst

Author Quotes

This place is a trip. The people here are very neat, very friendly and very well dressed, but you can't stay here for long. Things cost too much. If you're an alcoholic, this is a good place to come because a beer can cost you $40. You can't afford to be a drunk here.

When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

Everybody should have the right to be honest. Only in sports and celebrity can you not be honest. -- Barkley quoted in a profile on HBO's Real Sports.

Bad team, man. Bad fucking team.

First of all, you don't want the Chinese mad at you: They can fight!

Birdman?s hair looks like Tweety Bird.

From now on, if Michael or Shaq aren't playing, I ain?t showing up. [to the studio]

Both of y?all are2 going to hell for that. Y?all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they?re hot. Y?all are cruel man. [Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him]

Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!

20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also!

'Broadcasting for dummies'? This is for you, Ernie.

He [Kenny] knows basketball and I know a little bit, but I'm just here for good looks.

But when I see a story on welfare on television, they only show black people.

Can I Play??

He [Kenny] said Yao Ming's gonna get 19 points. If he gets 19 points in a game, I'll kiss [Kenny's] ass.

On the Portland Trail Blazers (back when they were known as the Jail Blazers) serving Thanksgiving meals: In between arrests they do community service.

Charles Barkley after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: Phone home. And later he remarks to Kenny, Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he's not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon.

He played like a girl all last year. TV made him a superstar. Now he has to play like one and quit whining. [on Vince Carter]

After Kevin Garnett threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was ejected. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: You know why that little girl's crying? It's because she's thinking 'my daddy's a wussy'.

Charles Barkley regarding Dan Issels fine when calling a heckling fan a Mexican. I don't think he (Issel) should have been fined or suspended. Some fans just need to be beaten down!

He will probably win, but that movie [Gangs of New York] was terrible -- Barkley, predicting that Daniel Day-Lewis will win the Oscar for Best Actor.

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

Conan O?Brien has got to be the luckiest guy in the whole entire world. First of all, they gave him $40 million to fire him, which I want one of those deals, and now he?s already working again.

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Barkley, fully Charles Wade Barkley
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American Professional Basketball Player and Television Analyst