Great Throughts Treasury

"Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast."

"One man's folly is another man's wife."

"Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time."

"Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever."

"Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man."

"The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is"

"The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those he didn't commit when he had the opportunity."

"The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious."

"The mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chance."

"The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head."

"The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him."

"There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly."

"There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age."

"There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them."

"To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end."

"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

"To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different; none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good."

"Variety is the spice of love."

"Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her."

"What a man calls his conscience is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love."

"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one."

"When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last."

"When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart."

"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to."

"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad."

"When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living."

"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?"

"Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification."

"You will never win if you never begin."