Great Throughts Treasury

This site is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Alan William Smolowe who gave birth to the creation of this database.

Frank Gelett Burgess

American Author, Artist, Art Critic, Poet and Humorist

"To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life."

"If in the last few years you hadn't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead."

"If you wish to be positive, which means youthful, never speak of the past any more than you can help."

"There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play tht is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness."

"Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter."

"I'm Sure every Word that you say is Absurd; I Say it's All Gummidge and Twaddle; You may Argue away till the 19th of May, But I don't like the Sound of the Moddle! "

"Abstrosophy - If echoes from the fitful past Could rise to mental view, Would all their fancied radiance last Or would some odors from the blast, Untouched by Time, accrue? Is present pain a future bliss, Or is it something worse? For instance, take a case like this: Is fancied kick a real kiss, Or rather the reverse? Is plenitude of passion palled By poverty of scorn? Does Fiction mend where Fact has mauled? Has Death its wisest victims called When idiots are born? "

"I'd Rather Have Habits Than Clothes, For that's where my intellect shows. And as for my hair, Do you think I should care To comb it at night with my toes? I'd rather have ears than a nose, I'd rather have fingers than toes, But as for my hair: I'm glad it's all there; I'll be awfully sad when it goes. I wish that my Room had a Floor; I don't so much care for a Door, But this walking around Without touching the ground Is getting to be quite a bore! "

"I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one; but i can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one!"

"A good woman would rather be the mother of a genius than the wife of a hero."

"Ah, yes! I wrote the 'Purple Cow,' I'm sorry, now, I wrote it! But I can tell you anyhow, I'll kill you if you quote it!"

"As the cat lapses into savagery by night, and barbarously explores the dark, so primal and titanic is a woman with the love madness."

"Count no woman wise, until thou hast received a letter from her hand; but love none thou hast not seen face to face, for she who is not foolish on paper is worth knowing."

"Her heart is older than her head; yea, her emotion is the mother of her reason."

"I never saw a Purple Cow; I never hope to See One; But I can Tell you, Anyhow, I'd rather See than Be One."

"Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky - fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will"

"Maxims are like lawyers who must need to see but one side of the case."

"Most women have all other women as adversaries; most men have all other men as their allies"

"No woman answereth an important question in less than eleven score words."

"Our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies."

"Thinking a smile all the time will keep your face youthful."

"Verily, men do foolish things thoughtlessly, knowing not why; but no woman doeth aught without a reason."