American Humorist, Dramatist, Author
"A lot of smart young people have come out of Indiana. The smarter they are, the faster they come out."
"A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words."
"Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people."
"He had been kicked in the head by a mule when young, and believed everything he read in the Sunday papers."
"'But, R-e-m-o-r-s-e! The water-wagon is the place for me; It is no time for mirth and laughter, The cold, gray dawn of the morning after!"
"If we still had the six-game season ticket available, I'm convinced all the five-game packages would have been six-game sales. But it was a record-breaking year for ticket sales no matter how you look at it."
"In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment."
"It's going to be a beautiful day for football. We now have tickets in hand to meet what we expect will be a strong walkup demand."
"Mark Twain on 's writing: I have been reading him [Ade] again, and my admiration overflows all limits. How effortless the limning! It is as if the work did itself, without help of the master's hand."
"Notre Dame is sold out, and Akron and Iowa will be by the end of the week. In the next two weeks, Northwestern should be a sellout."
"We had a good sale (on Monday) and with (today's) sales up until game time, we should be able to sellout."
"We've sold more than 60,000 tickets, so after we get all the bands and other non-ticketed folks in, we'll be close to capacity. We will definitely sell out."