Great Throughts Treasury

"As painful as shame is, it does seem to be the guardian of many of the secret, unexplored aspects of our beings. Repressed shame must be experienced if we are to come to terms with the good, the bad, and the unique of what we are."

"Many people hold onto a grudge because it offers the illusion of power and a perverse feeling of security. But in fact, we are held hostage by our anger. It is never too late to forgive. But you can forgive too soon. I am especially wary of what I call "saintly forgiveness." Premature forgiveness is common among people who avoid conflict. They're afraid of their own anger and the anger of others. But their forgiveness is false. Their anger goes underground. I define forgiving as letting someone back into your heart. This returns us to a loving state -- and not merely within the relationship -- we feel good about ourselves and the world. True forgiveness isn't easy, but it transforms us significantly. To forgive is to love and to feel worthy of love. In that sense, it is always worthwhile."

"Resentments - a petty one, but most resentments are. And one for its smallness I felt obliged to repress. For that matter, that is the nature of resentment, the objection we cannot repress. It is silence more than the complaint itself that makes the emotion so toxic, like poisons the body wont pee away."

"One result for many people is a tendency to think that power comes from cruelty or indifference. But, in reality such things are not powerful, because cruelty and indifference emerge not from a self that is in possession of itself but from a self that is imprisoned in its own inner drama."