This site is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Alan William Smolowe who gave birth to the creation of this database.
American Psychiatrist and Educator who developed psychologist Alfred Adler's system of individual psychology into a pragmatic method for understanding the purposes of reprehensible behavior in children and for stimulating cooperative behavior without punishment or reward
"We can change our whole life and the attitude of people around us simply by changing ourselves."
"A great many people fall in love with or feel attracted to a person who offers the least possibility of a harmonious union."
"A misbehaving child is a discouraged child."
"Children never learn to think for themselves if we do it all for them and hand it down ready-made."
"Confronted with any marital problem, the only question that leads to a constructive solution is, What can I do?"
"How many things would be different in everyone’s surroundings if we hadn’t lived? How a good word many have encouraged some fellow and did something to him that he did it differently and better than he would otherwise. And through him somebody else was saved. How much we contribute to each other, how powerful we each are-and don’t know it."
"Instead of allowing our children to test their strength in a hundred different ways, we confront them constantly with our prejudice -- our doubt in their ability -- and then justify this by setting up standards for various age levels by which children may be trusted to do things."
"Man does not see reality as it is, but only as he perceives it, and his perception may be mistaken or biased."
"Men's insistence on being of service sometimes expresses less consideration than girls like to believe. Helping women, treating them, bestowing gifts -these things are done much more for the donor's sake, as assertions of his superiority."
"Never do for a child what he can do for himself."
"Perfection never exists in reality, but only in our dreams and, if we are foolish enough to think so, in the past."
"Perfection never exists in reality, but only in our dreams."
"The complaints which anyone voices against his mate indicate exactly the qualities which stimulated attraction before marriage."
"We cannot protect our children from life. Therefore, it is essential that we prepare them for it."
"When a child makes a mistake or fails to accomplish a certain goal, we must avoid any word or action which indicates that we consider him a failure. 'Too bad that didn't work.' 'I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.' We need to separate the deed from the doer."