Great Throughts Treasury

"My old clock used to tell the time and subdivide diurnity; but now it's lost both hands and chime and only tells eternity."

"Naive you are if you believe life favors those who aren't naive."

"No cow's like a horse, and no horse like a cow. That's one similarity anyhow."

"Pills are useful against ills and against too many pill."

"Put up in a place where it's easy to see the cryptic admonishment T. T. T. When you feel how depressingly slowly you climb, it's well to remember that Things Take Time!"

"Simplified. Everything's either concave or -vex, so whatever you dream will be something with sex."

"There's an art of knowing when. Never try to guess. Toast until it smokes and then twenty seconds less."

"When people always try to take the very smallest piece of cake how can it also always be that that's the one that's left for me?"

"Whenever you're called on to make up your mind, and you're hampered by not having any, the best way to solve the dilemma, you'll find, is simply by spinning a penny. No -- not so that chance shall decide the affair while you're passively standing there moping; but the moment the penny is up in the air, you suddenly know what you're hoping."

"Wisdom is the booby prize given when you've been unwise."

"You'll probably find that it suits your book to be a bit cleverer than you look. Observe that the easiest method by far is to look a bit stupider than you are."