Great Throughts Treasury

"Morals are an acquirement... no man is born with them."

"Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them."

"Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it."

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session."

"Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead."

"Plan for the future because that's where you are going to spend the rest of your life."

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"Reflection is the beginning of reform."

"Respect for the truth is an acquired taste."

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself."

"That government is not best which best secures mere life and property - there is a more valuable thing - manhood."

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up."

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."

"The institution of Royalty in any form is an insult to the human race."

"The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury."

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."

"The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the nation all the time, loyalty to the government when it deserves it."

"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."

"The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so."

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."

"There are many scapegoats for our blunders, but the most popular one is Providence."

"To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours."

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - and less trouble."

"We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity."

"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on the stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."

"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."

"Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies."

"There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press."

"Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"Truth is more of a stranger than fiction."

"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."

"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge."

"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't."

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."