Douglas William Jerrold

Douglas William

English Playwright, Editor, Humorist

Author Quotes

A paroxysm of nervous effervescence.

Fix yourself upon the wealthy. In a word, take this for a golden rule through life: Never, never have a friend that is poorer than yourself.

In all the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of the plums.

Marriage is like wine. It is not be properly judged until the second glass.

Slugs crawl and crawl over our cabbages, like the world's slander over a good name. You may kill them, it is true; but there is the slime.

The surest way to hit a woman's heart is to take aim kneeling.

Wit, like money, bears an extra value when rung down immediately it is wanted. Men pay severely who require credit.

A piece of simple goodness--a letter gushing from the heart; a beautiful unstudied vindication of the worth and untiring sweetness of human nature--a record of the invulnerability of man, armed with high purpose, sanctified by truth.

Fortunes made in no time are like shirts made in no time; it's ten to one if they hang long together.

In the intercourse of the world people should not take words as so much genuine coin of standard metal, but merely as counters that people play with.

Modesty is a bright dish-cover, which makes us fancy there is something very nice underneath it.

Soldiers looked at as they ought to be. They are to the world as poppies to corn-fields.

The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now, if I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Wits, like drunken men with swords, are apt to draw their steel upon their best acquaintances.

A pill that the present moment is daily bread to thousands.

Gravity is more suggestive than convincing.

In this world truth can wait; she is used to it.

My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a banknote, for two twenties.

Some of 'em [virtues] like extinct volcanoes,

The worst of it is, dullness is catching.

Women, somehow, have the same fear of witty men as of fireworks.

A sermon on a hat: "'The hat, my boy, the hat, whatever it may be, is in itself nothing--makes nothing, goes for nothing; but, be sure of it, everything is life depends upon the cock of the hat.' For how many men--we put it to your own experience, reader--have made their way through the thronging crowds that beset fortune, not by the innate worth and excellence of their hats, but simply, as Sampson Piebald has it, by 'the cock of their hats'? The cock's all."

Grumblers deserve to be operated upon surgically; their trouble is usually chronic.

It is a beautiful necessity of our nature to love something.

Nature designed us to be of good cheer.

Author Picture
First Name
Douglas William
Last Name
Birth Date
Death Date

English Playwright, Editor, Humorist