Helen Rowland

Helen
Rowland
1875
1950

American Journalist and Humorist

Author Quotes

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different; none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.

A fool and her money are soon courted.

Call the bald man, Boy; make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.

Love the quest; marriage the conquest; divorce the inquest

One man's folly is another man's wife.

Variety is the spice of love.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little personal characteristics.

Author Picture
First Name
Helen
Last Name
Rowland
Birth Date
1875
Death Date
1950
Bio

American Journalist and Humorist