Paula Hawkins

Paula
Hawkins
1972

Rhodesian(now Zimbabwe)-born British Author, best known for her 2015 novel "The Girl on the Train"

Author Quotes

When everyone is out and about, being flagrantly, aggressively happy. It?s exhausting, and it makes you feel bad if you?re not joining in.

I lay there and I thought of what that teacher said, and of all the things I?d been: child, rebellious teenager, runaway, whore, lover, bad mother, bad wife. I?m not sure if I can remake myself as a good wife, but a good mother?that I have to try.

I wake abruptly, my breath jagged and heart racing, my mouth stale, and I know immediately that?s it. I?m awake. The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be.

I?m not just going to be ignored.

If you want to be happy, not like one while living like everyone else.

It isn?t normal to invade someone?s privacy to that degree. It?s what is often seen as a form of emotional abuse.

It's impossible to resist the kindness of strangers.

Maybe if I?d done all that, I wouldn?t have ended up here, not knowing what to do next. Or maybe, if I?d done all that, I?d have ended up exactly where I am and I would be perfectly contented. But I didn?t do all that, of course.

One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl? Three for a girl. I?m stuck on three, I just can?t get any further. My head is thick with sounds, my mouth thick with blood. Three for a girl. I can hear the magpies?they?re laughing, mocking me, a raucous cackling. A tiding. Bad tidings. I can see them now, black against the sun. Not the birds, something else. Someone?s coming. Someone is speaking to me. Now look. Now look what you made me do.

She's cuckoo, laying her egg in my nest.

The behavior you?re describing?reading your emails, going through your Internet browser history?you describe all this as though it is commonplace, as though it is normal. It isn?t, Megan. It isn?t normal to invade someone?s privacy to that degree. It?s what is often seen as a form of emotional abuse.

The train stops. We are almost opposite Jess and Jason's house, but I can't see across the carriage and the tracks, there are too many people in the way. I wonder whether they are there, whether he knows, whether he's left, or whether he's still living a life he's yet to discover is a lie.

This is what marriage is?safe, warm, comfortable.

When I close my eyes, my head is filled with images of past and future lives, the things I dreamed I wanted, the things I had and threw away.

I like trains, and what?s wrong with that? Trains are wonderful.

I want to call her back and ask her, What does it feel like, Anna, to live in my house, surrounded by the furniture I bought, to sleep in the bed that I shared with him for years, to feed your child at the kitchen table he fucked me on?

I?m not normal.

I'm good enough to make him believe that it's all about him.

It must take the most incredible self-control, that stillness, that passivity; it must be exhausting.

It's the only thing I have left, my last roll of the dice. If this doesn?t work, I have to let it go. I just have to let it go.

Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away.

One minute I?m ticking along fine and life is sweet and I want for nothing, and the next, I can?t wait to get away, I?m all over the place, slipping and sliding again.

So I can?t sleep, and I?m angry. I feel as though we?re having a fight already, even though the fight?s only in my imagination. And in my head, thoughts go round and round and round. I feel like I?m suffocating.

The clouds that menaced this morning did so all day, growing heavier and blacker until they burst, monsoon-like, this evening, just as office workers stepped outside and the rush hour began in earnest, leaving the roads gridlocked and tube station entrances choked with people opening and closing umbrellas.

The truth is, I never felt bad for Rachel.

Author Picture
First Name
Paula
Last Name
Hawkins
Birth Date
1972
Bio

Rhodesian(now Zimbabwe)-born British Author, best known for her 2015 novel "The Girl on the Train"