Paula Hawkins

Paula
Hawkins
1972

Rhodesian(now Zimbabwe)-born British Author, best known for her 2015 novel "The Girl on the Train"

Author Quotes

It feels like coming home - not just to any home, but a childhood home, a place left behind a lifetime ago; it's the familiarity of walking up stairs and knowing exactly which one is going to creak.

It?s transference, Megan, he said. It happens from time to time. It happens to me, too. I really should have introduced this topic last time. I?m sorry.

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On the way back down the road, he passes me in his car, our eyes meet for just a second and he smiles at me.

She must be very secure in herself, I suppose, in them, for it not to bother her, to walk where another woman has walked before. She obviously doesn?t think of me as a threat. I think about Ted Hughes, moving Assia Wevill into the home he?d shared with Plath, of her wearing Sylvia?s clothes, brushing her hair with the same brush. I want to ring Anna up and remind her that Assia ended up with her head in the oven, just like Sylvia did.

That?s what he always used to say to me. Don?t expect me to be sane, Anna. Not with you.

The sense of shame I feel about an incident is proportionate not just to the gravity of the situation, but also to the number of people who have witnessed it.

There's nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion.

What if the thing I?m looking for can never be found? What if it just isn?t possible?

You?re not some grieving, lost child any longer. You?re a completely different person. You?re stronger. You?re an adult now. You don?t have to be afraid of being alone. It?s not the worst thing, is it?

I know is, one minute I?m ticking along fine and life is sweet and I want for nothing, and the next I can?t wait to get away, I?m all over the place, slipping and sliding again.

I told him I loved him and I felt every muscle in his body tense, as if he knew what was coming and was bracing himself for it. You do, don?t you, when someone tells you they love you like that. I love you, I do, but . . . But.

I?m not even that upset about the rejection any more. What bothers me most is that I haven?t got to the end of my story, and I can?t start over with someone else, it?s too hard.

If you want someone badly enough, morals (and certainly professionalism) don't come into it. You'll do anything to have them.

It fits her, pretty and carefree as she is. They?re a match, they?re a set. They?re happy, I can tell. They?re what I used to be, they?re Tom and me, five years ago. They?re what I lost; they?re everything I want to be.

It's as if pretending to have a real life instead of living it for real.

Mac saved me. He took me in, he loved me, he kept me safe. And he wasn?t boring. And to be perfectly honest, we were taking a lot of drugs, and it?s difficult to get bored when you?re off your face all the time. I was happy.

Once I?ve made my mind up, I?m a force to be reckoned with.

She wanted to chat in person and I thought it might be best. I?m sorry, OK? We just talked. We met in a crappy coffee shop in Ashbury and talked for twenty minutes?half an hour, tops. OK?

That?s what I?ve taken from the therapy sessions: the holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mold yourself through the gaps.

The thing about being barren is that you?re not allowed to get away from it. Not when you?re in your thirties. My friends were having children, friends of friends were having children, pregnancy and birth and first birthday parties were everywhere. I was asked about it all the time.

They wouldn?t even recognize Megan the happily married suburbanite. In any case, I can?t risk looking backwards, it?s always a bad idea. I?ll wait until the summer is over, then I?ll look for work. It seems like a shame to waste these long summer days. I?ll find something, here or elsewhere, I know I will.

When did you become so weak? I don?t know. I don?t know where that strength went, I don?t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it.

I know that I?m going to be better, that I?m going to be happy. It won?t be long.

I understand what it means emptiness. I'm starting to think that it cannot fill anything in principle. My psychotherapeutic sessions have taught me one thing: the gap in life forever. We must learn to grow, enveloping them like plants, stems entwine concrete structure. These holes form a human personality. I know that now, but do not say it out loud, at least now.

Author Picture
First Name
Paula
Last Name
Hawkins
Birth Date
1972
Bio

Rhodesian(now Zimbabwe)-born British Author, best known for her 2015 novel "The Girl on the Train"