Great Throughts Treasury

"We call our little girls bossy. Go to a playground; little girls get called bossy all the time?a word that?s almost never used for boys?and that leads directly to the problems women face in the workforce. Those of us at Mamiverse who have girls strive to say they have exceptional leadership skills instead of calling them bossy. So far, so good."

"We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. We internalize the negative messages we get throughout our lives?the messages that say it?s wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men."

"We compromise our career goals to make room for partners and children who may not even exist yet."

"We can joke, as Marlo Thomas did, that a man has to be Joe McCarthy in order to be called ruthless. All a woman needs to do is put you on hold. Real change will come when powerful women are less of an exception. It is easy to dislike senior women because there are so few. If women held 50 percent of the top jobs, it would just not be possible to dislike that many people."

"We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change."

"We call our little girls bossy. Go to a playground; little girls get called bossy all the time - a word that's almost never used for boys - and that leads directly to the problems women face in the workforce."

"We must not ignore the real obstacles women face in the professional world, from sexism and discrimination to a lack of flexibility, access to child care and parental leave. But women can dismantle the internal barriers holding us back today. Here are three examples of how women can lean in."

"We need more men to sit at the table... at the kitchen table."

"We need women at all levels, including the top, to change the dynamic, reshape the conversation, to make sure women's voices are heard and heeded, not overlooked and ignored."

"We must raise both the ceiling and the floor."

"What about the rat race in the first place? Is it worthwhile? Or are you just buying into someone else's definition of success? Only you can decide that, and you'll have to decide it over and over and over. But if you think it's a rat race, before you drop out, take a deep breath. Maybe you picked the wrong job. Try again. And then try again."

"We need to stop telling [women], Get a mentor and you will excel. Instead, we need to tell them, Excel and you will get a mentor."

"We?ve got to get women to sit at the table. Sheryl talks about how, in a room full of executives, the men sit in the chairs at the table and the women are in the chairs that line the walls of the room. We?re working on claiming our own space at the table, for sure, because being seen and heard, and feeling as though you?re genuinely a part of the magic, is where it all begins."

"We've ceased making progress at the top in any industry anywhere in the world ... In the United States, women have had 14% of the top corporate jobs and 17% of the board seats for 10 years. Ten years of no progress. In those same 10 years, women are getting more and more of the graduate degrees, more and more of the undergraduate degrees, and it's translating into more women in entry-level jobs, even more women in lower-level management. But there's absolutely been no progress at the top. You can't explain away 10 years. Ten years of no progress is no progress."

"We've got to get women to sit at the table."

"What I tell everyone, and I really do for myself is, I have a long-run dream, which is I want to work on stuff that I think matters. Okay, we might be slacking off in this department. Adding ?create a 10 year goal and gameplan? to the to do list right now."

"What works for men does not always work for women, because success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. That's what the research shows. As a man gets more successful, everyone is rooting for him. As a woman gets more successful, both men and women like her less."

"What would you do if you weren?t afraid?"

"What is your biggest problem, and how can I solve it?"

"When a husband and wife both are employed full-time, the mother does 40 percent more child care and about 30 percent more housework than the father.1 A 2009 survey found that only 9 percent of people in dual-earner marriages said that they shared housework, child care, and breadwinning evenly."

"When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less. This truth is both shocking and unsurprising: shocking because no one would ever admit to stereotyping on the basis of gender and unsurprising because clearly we do."

"When a woman excels at her job, both male and female coworkers will remark that she may be accomplishing a lot, but is not well-liked by her peers. She is probably also too aggressive, not a team player, a bit political, can?t be trusted, or difficult."

"When I went to college, as much as my parents emphasized academic achievement, they emphasized marriage even more. They told me that the most eligible women marry young to get a 'good man' before they are all taken."

"When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

"When I was in high school, I was voted most likely to succeed."

"When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

"When my mother took her turn to sit in a gown at her graduation, she thought she only had two career options: nursing and teaching. She raised me and my sister to believe that we could do anything, and we believed her."

"When Warren Buffett talks about competing against only half of the population, I think about her and wonder how different her life might have been if she had been born half a century later."

"When woman work outside the home and share breadwinning duties, couples are more likely to stay together. In fact, the risk of divorce reduces by about half when a wife earns half the income and a husband does half the housework."

"When you're more valuable, the people around you will do more to make it work."

"When you want to change things, you can?t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren?t making enough progress."

"Whoever has the power takes the noun while the less powerful get an adjective. No one wants her achievements modified. We all just want to be the noun."

"Women don't take enough risks. Men are just 'foot on the gas pedal.' We're not going to close the achievement gap until we close the ambition gap."

"Women have made tons of progress. But we still have a small percentage of the top jobs in any industry, in any nation in the world. I think that's partly because from a very young age, we encourage our boys to lead and we call our girls bossy."

"Women attribute their success to working hard, luck, and help from other people. Men will attribute that - whatever success they have, that same success - to their own core skills."

"Women are not making it to the top of any profession in the world. But when I say, 'The blunt truth is that men run the world,' people say, 'Really?' That, to me, is the problem."

"Women are not making it to the top. A hundred and ninety heads of state; nine are women. Of all the people in parliament in the world, thirteen per cent are women. In the corporate sector, women at the top - C-level jobs, board seats - tops out at fifteen, sixteen per cent."

"Women need to shift form thinking I'm not ready to do that to thinking I want to do that- and I'll learn by doing it."

"Women rarely make one big decision to leave the workforce. Instead, they make a lot of small decisions along the way. A law associate might decide not to shoot for partner because someday she hopes to have a family. A sales rep might take a smaller territory or not apply for a management role. A teacher might pass on leading curriculum development for her school. Often without even realizing it, women stop reaching for new opportunities. By the time a baby actually arrives, a woman is likely to be in a drastically different place than she would have been had she not leaned back. Before, she was a top performer on par with her peers in responsibility, opportunity and pay. But by not finding ways to stretch herself in the years leading up to motherhood, she has fallen behind. When she returns to the workplace after her child is born, she is likely to feel less fulfilled, underutilized or unappreciated. At this point, she probably scales her ambitions back even further since she no longer believes that she can get to the top."

"You are the promise for a more equal world. So my hope for everyone here is that after you walk across this stage, after you get your diploma, after you go out tonight and celebrate hard - you then will lean way in to your career. You will find something you love doing and you will do it with gusto. Find the right career for you and go all the way to the top. As you walk off this stage today, you start your adult life. Start out by aiming high. Try - and try hard. Like everyone here, I have great hopes for the members of this graduating class. I hope you find true meaning, contentment, and passion in your life. I hope you navigate the difficult times and come out with greater strength and resolve. I hope you find whatever balance you seek with your eyes wide open. And I hope that you - yes, you - have the ambition to lean in to your career and run the world. Because the world needs you to change it. Women all around the world are counting on you. So please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren't afraid? And then go do it."

"Writing this book is not just me encouraging others to lean in. This is me leaning in. Writing this book is what I would do if I weren't afraid."

"You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around."

"You can?t do it all. No one can have two full-time jobs, have perfect children and cook three meals and be multi-orgasmic ?til dawn ? Superwoman is the adversary of the women?s movement."

"You take someone to the airport, it?s clearly the beginning of the relationship. That?s why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. SALLY: Why? HARRY: Because eventually things move on and you don?t take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?"

"You then will lean way in to your career. You will find something you love doing and you will do it with gusto. Find the right career for you and go all the way to the top. Start out by Aiming high. Try- and try hard. I hope you find true meaning, contentment, and passion in your life. I hope you navigate the difficult times and come out with greater strength and resolve. I hope you find whatever balance you seek with your eyes wide open."

"You know, there has never been a 24-hour period in five years when I have not responded to e-mail at Facebook. I am not saying it?s easy. I work long hours. I am saying that I was able to mold those hours around the needs of my family, and that matters. And I really encourage other people at Facebook to mold hours around themselves."