Great Throughts Treasury

"I have come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom… As a teacher, I possess tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable, or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or dehumanized."

"When a child hits a child, we call it aggression. When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility. When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault. When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline."

"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."

"While parents possess the original key to their offspring's experience, teachers have a spare key. They, too, can open or close the minds and hearts of children."

"Misbehavior and punishment are not opposites that cancel each other - on the contrary they breed and reinforce each other."

"Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it. "

"Rebellion follows rejection."

"Don't invite dependence. Don't hurry to correct facts. Don't violate his privacy. Avoid clichés and preaching. Don't talk in chapters. Don't label him. Don't use reverse psychology. Don't send contradictory messages. Don't futurize."

"Concerned adults serve best when with confidence they stand and wait."

"First, of all do not deny your teenager's perception. Do not argue with his experience. Do not disown his feelings. Specifically, do not try to convince him that what he sees or hears or feels or senses is not so."

"Reason and logic do not satisfy our emotional needs."

"If you try to convince your child that he knows nothing, in other words, that he is stupid, the real danger is that he may believe you."

"Differentiate between acceptance and approval."

"A modern teacher educates children to value their emotions."

"When teachers are at their best they display a common orientation: they do not believe in the power of pontification. They neither preach nor moralize. They give no guilt and demand no promises... are not preoccupied with the child's past history or distant future, they deal with the present. What matters to them is the here and now of the child in distress."

"Acknowledging experience and reflecting feelings are helpful interpersonal skills. However, they are not tricks or gimmicks. Nor can they be used mechanically. They are helpful only within a context of concern and respect. In human relations the agents of help are never solely the techniques, but the person who employs them. Without compassion and authenticity, the techniques fail."

"Children are never sure of their abilities. A public attack on intelligence hits their most vulnerable spot. Virulent criticism doesn't motivate children to improve; on the contrary, it ruins their initiative. "

"Verbal spankings do not improve performance or personality. They only ignite hate."

"A slow student is not cured by sarcasm. Mental processes are not mended by mockery. Ridicule breeds hate and invites vengeance. "

"It is easier to gain cooperation by changing moods than by changing minds. "

"Labeling is disabling."

"For children, learning is never without emotional overtones. Whenever a teacher ignores the emotions and resorts to logical explanations, learning limps to a halt."

"When forced to study, children use their ingenuity to get through school without learning."

"A teacher, like a playwright, has an obligation to be interesting or, at least, brief. A play closes when it ceases to interest audiences."

"Praise, like penicillin must not be administered haphazardly."

"Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task. "

"Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression."

"Treat a child as though he already is the person he's capable of becoming."

"Happiness... is not a destination: it is a manner of traveling. Happiness is not an end in itself. It is a by-product of working, playing, loving and living."