Great Throughts Treasury

"I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL, ... The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There is a little hope invested in McNabb and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team."

"I thought it was. I got caught in the whole thing about using unidentified sources, except my sources are not unidentified, I know them. But I got caught up here, you're exactly right. I just I assumed, 'Hey, it's rock 'n' roll,' you know? But since I don't know it, I retracted it within minutes, and I feel bad about it. I feel terrible about it."

"I think this reason why girls don?t do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, ?All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what?s it going to be?? We all know what was chosen."

"I want a great country. I want people happy."

"I used to have a phrase: Liberalism is spreading misery equally. And now the ruling class throughout Washington seems to have adopted this."

"I think you'll find when you look back 10 years from now that it will have been a great appointment,"

"I want Obama to have to weigh in on Ben Affleck as Batman. It's about time Obama went to work."

"I want you to know I'm no role model. I refuse to let anyone think I'm doing something heroic here, something great here. I'm not a victim. I'm not going to portray myself as a victim. I take full responsibility for this problem."

"I wonder if liberal kids call liberal talk shows and ask how to get along in a conservative teacher's class? No. No. It doesn't happen, 'cause there's no thought of getting along."

"I will be the first to admit that getting votes and getting an audience are two different things. For example, a politician really can't be elected if he's hated by half the people. A talk show host, however, can be an overwhelming national phenomenon while being hated by half the people."

"I.Q. deficiency. There are some people who are an order of fries short of a Happy Meal, and what is often a characteristic about every one of these people is that they don't know it. They have no idea how incompetent or stupid they are. It's the exact opposite. They have the loftiest, highest self-image."

"I worried about this all night long. I don't like saying things about people that aren't true."

"I?m not opposed to the protection of animals. But the best way to do that is to make sure some human being owns them."

"I?m a huge supporter of women. What I?m not is a supporter of liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose. Feminism has led women astray. I love the women?s movement ? especially when walking behind it."

"If I sound like I'm enjoying myself, it's not artificial. It's real."

"If an economic recovery happens, the Democrats are S.O.L., politically. Now, what does that tell about you their politics and their economics?"

"If economies are built 'bottom up', Obama, wouldn't Mexico be the number one economy in the world? Wouldn't Cuba be an international superpower?"

"If liberalism discredited itself, Obama woulda never gotten elected, and the New Deal woulda gone by the wayside, and LBJ woulda never gotten the Great Society. Liberalism does not discredit itself. It has to be explained and beaten back."

"If one of the main reasons for passing the Gang of Eight immigration bill is so Republicans can prove that they don't hate Hispanics, then what's next? Are the Republicans going to have to support gay marriage to prove that they don't hate gays? Are the Republicans then going to have to support affirmative action to prove they don't hate blacks?"

"If people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up."

"If I wanted to be president, and if I were ever serious about it, the biggest thing I would have going for me is that I'm a conservative."

"If Romney would go ideological in explaining Obama, it would help. We gotta stop the, 'He's a nice guy' stuff. Nice guys don't do what Obama is doing. Nice guys don't say and do and act the way Obama is saying, doing, and acting."

"If we are going to start rewarding no skills and stupid people - I'm serious, let the unskilled jobs, let the kinds of jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do - let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work"

"If the owl can't adapt to the superiority of humans, screw it... Now, I know that sounded heartless. But my argument follows simple, pure logic. If a spotted owl can't adapt, does the earth really need that particular species so much that hardship to human beings is worth enduring in the process of saving it? Thousands of species that roamed the earth are now extinct. Do you hear anyone making the case that the earth would be better off if dinosaurs were still roaming the planet?"

"If we can have record high unemployment, record job loss, and just an absolutely anemic economic recovery because of Obama's policies, and he's not blamed for it, what makes anybody think he's gonna get blamed when an insurance company starts doubling their premiums?"

"If you are unskilled and uneducated, your job is going south. Skilled workers, educated people are going to do fine 'cause those are the kinds of jobs NAFTA is going to create. If we are going to start rewarding no skills and stupid people, I'm serious, let the unskilled jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do--let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work."

"If you compare charitable donations, you name it, religious tithing, giving, Americans trump citizens of the world hands down."

"If you get rich in the name of the poor, fine and dandy. The problem is when you earn it. If you earn the money in the private sector by starting a business and hiring a lot of people, that's when you become the enemy."

"If you're healthy, if you don't get sick much, if you don't go to the doctor much or use your health insurance much, you are a genetic lottery winner. It has nothing to do with the way you live, nothing to do with doing the right things. It's just sheer luck, and you are gonna pay for that."

"If you feed them, if you feed the children, three square meals a day during the school year, how can you expect them to feed themselves in the summer? Wanton little waifs and serfs dependent on the State. Pure and simple."

"If you want to know what the biggest thing in your way to an improved standard of living, higher pay, a more rewarding career is: Barack Obama and the Democrat Party and their economic policies. They are the roadblock."

"If you really want to get rid of the problems in the NFL, put Obama in charge of it: in a few months it will be so deep in debt it will have to go out of business - no more concussions."

"If you're working to make the playing field fair and level, you're working for the wrong reasons. Work to take the opportunities that arise and use your individual talents to excel at those opportunities."

"If you're Obama, can you imagine being lectured to about honesty and integrity from a convicted perjurer, Bill Clinton? My gosh, folks, I mean, literally how far has one fallen when that is the case?"

"I'm a member of the media. I'm America's Anchorman."

"I'm appalled at people who simply want to look at this abhorrent behavior and say, 'Hey, you know, we can't control it anymore. People are going to do drugs anyway. Let's legalize it.' It's a dumb idea. It's a rotten idea, and those who are for it are purely, 100% selfish."

"I'm just wondering, folks, if I gave a speech on anti-capitalism, do you think I could be named Person of the Year by 'TIME Magazine?'"

"I'm convinced that a lot of people simply don't know what's available out there and how it is possible to find a job and work your way up if you are willing to accept responsibility for your life. I know what it's like to be on the bottom. I've been broke. I've been fired seven times from jobs. And I don't even have a college degree. But I didn't blame anyone else for my problems. I knew that if I didn't try to solve them on my own or with the help of friends or family members, no one else was going to take care of me."

"I'm not afraid of having an agenda. I do have an agenda. It's a positive agenda."

"I'm not opposed to the protection of animals. But the best way to do that is to make sure some human being owns them. --"

"I'm not against the government building roads. That is a legitimate government function. But I am very much against the government claiming that their building the road is the reason somebody on the road is successful."

"In the old days, the media is who held people accountable when they lied in politics. That isn't happening anymore."

"Is it a coincidence that in 1998, Barack Obama talks about a majority coalition of welfare recipients and in 2012 we got a record number of Americans on food stamps while he's president? I don't think it's a coincidence."

"I'm pro-choice. But I hope that choice will be life."

"I'm whispering so that the media doesn't hear me."

"In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?"

"In NFL preseason, the coaches don't use 10% of the playbook. They don't game plan. They do nothing. They don't give anything away for the regular season. They try to get everybody safely through it without anybody getting hurt."

"In 2010, Upton prevailed in a fierce primary contest against a Tea Party candidate, but his troubles were far from over. The conservative activist group FreedomWorks had put up a website, www.DownWithUpton.com, and was showing up to Republican Study Committee meetings urging members to reject his bid for the chairmanship."

"In my opinion, at the root of the assertion that animals have rights is the belief that animals and men are equal in creation, that man evolved from apes, and that creation is an allegorical myth contained in the Bible. There is no escaping the connection between secular humanism and animal rights activism."

"In order for the Constitution to work, you have to have law-abiding people. You have to have people willing to obey the Constitution, willing to follow the law. Obama doesn't care. He is the law."