Great Throughts Treasury

"A chip on the shoulder is often a piece of wood that has fallen from the head."

"A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. A white shirt always attracts curry."

"A computer is a genie that can grant any wish. But it must be expressed exactly and in binary."

"A committee is an animal with six or more legs and no brain."

"A doctor will take care of the rich man; the poor man is cured with work."

"A crow won't bite a crow."

"A dead man's will is the mirror of his life."

"A forest is in an acorn."

"A dullard is someone who can open a dictionary or encyclopedia and read only what they'd planned to."

"A flower without a smell is like a man without a soul."

"A friend to all is a friend to none."

"A good joke is a penny worth."

"A fool stands always in the rain."

"A good bargain is a pick-purse."

"A good run is always better than a poor fight."

"A guest hammers a nail in the wall even if he stays only one night."

"A guest sticks a nail in the wall even if he stays but one night."

"A jug carries water until its handle breaks off."

"A jury should decide a case the minute they are shown it, before the lawyers have had a chance to mislead them."

"A man is a wolf to another man."

"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."

"A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions."

"A must is in Russia, in Poland you do however you want."

"A motion to adjourn is always in order."

"A person who is always nice is not always nice."

"A pretty person looks pretty in every clothing."

"A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits."

"A success has many fathers, a failure is an orphan."

"A pile for everything, and everything in its pile."

"A skunk is better company than a man who prides himself on being frank."

"A sparrow in your hand is better than a pigeon on the roof."

"A sore finger and a headache are standard excuses for not going to school."

"A whistling priest has a demon in his belly."

"A wolf that takes a peasant to supper probably won?t need any breakfast."

"A woman is not property, and husbands who think so are living in a dream-world."

"A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes. This may be the purpose of the universe."

"Add up your pennies, and buy a hen."

"Admiration is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."

"All roads lead to Rome."

"After all is said and done, more is said than done."

"All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk."

"Always borrow from a pessimist -- he never expects it back."

"All men are created unequal."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"All that glitters is not gold."

"Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done. Then do it."

"Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Always tell her she is beautiful."

"An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications."