Great Throughts Treasury

"The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled."

"The heck with top or bottom. I want a relationship with strangeness and charm."

"The liar will travel the world over, but chooses not to go back home."

"The Italian invents it; the Frenchman makes it; the Germans sell it; the Pole buys it and the Tartar plunders it."

"The hidden flaw never remains hidden."

"The light at the end of the tunnel may be a NO EXIT sign."

"The most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful."

"The locksmith is the guilty one, but the blacksmith hangs."

"The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs."

"The nice thing about standards is that you have so many to choose from."

"The one item you want is never the one on sale."

"The one who both smokes and drinks doesn't get roundworms."

"The rich man gets his ice in the summer and the poor man gets his in the winter."

"The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him."

"The real unlucky one will sprain his thumb when he blows his nose."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"The silent dog is the first to bite."

"The truth of a notion has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa."

"The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys."

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."

"The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success."

"The world won't end today....It's already tomorrow in Australia."

"The world is a big place but there is so little room in it."

"The woman cries before the wedding and the man after."

"The worst devil is the one who prays."

"There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you?re interrupting."

"There is always one more imbecile than you counted on."

"There are a thousand roads to every wrong."

"There will be no cream from that spoiled milk."

"There is no place like home."

"There's no traffic jam on the extra mile."

"There will be no bread from that flour."

"This isn't hell. This is where you get sent if you've been bad in hell."

"Though the hippopotamus has no sting on its tail, the wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee."

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."

"Those who argue, like each other."

"Thousands of years ago, the Egyptians worshiped cats. Cats have never forgotten this."

"Three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't."

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."

"Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills."

"Time has no respect for beauty."

"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students!"

"Time is money."

"To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods."

"To live long, eat like a rabbit, drink like a bear and make love like a badger."

"To the optimist, the glass is half full."

"To the pessimist, the glass is half empty."

"Today is the last day of your life, so far."

"Tommy, please, stay at your own place."

"Too many cooks spoil the broth."