Great Throughts Treasury

"Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable."

"Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start out that life with a disappointment. Live your life so that whenever you lose you are ahead."

"Best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what’s the matter. He’s just got to know."

"Big business don’t go broke any more. The minute it looks bad for them, they combine with something else and issue more stock."

"Borrowing money on what's called 'easy terms,' is a one-way ticket to the Poor House. If you think it ain't a Sucker Game, why is your Banker the richest man in your Town? Why is your Bank the biggest and finest building in your Town? Instead of passing Bills to make borrowing easy, if Congress had passed a Bill that no Person could borrow a cent of Money from any other person, they would have gone down in History as committing the greatest bit of Legislation in the World."

"Both gangs have been bad sports, so see if at least one can't redeem themselves by offering no alibis, but cooperate with the winner, for no matter which one it is the poor fellow is going to need it."

"Both parties have their good times and bad times at different times. Good when they are out. Bad when they are in."

"Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times. They are each good when they are out, and bad when they are in."

"Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion."

"But let's get on: Before the criminal is tried the defense consul should stand trial to see if there was anything against him. Mr. Rogers indicated further that this was the big question before the convention and that everything else paled into insignificance before this tremendous issue."

"But there was lots of lawyers among the guests, and I knew cows better than I did lawyers. There is a way of studying a cow and learning all about her, but a lawyer? There has never been any course at college devised where you can take in What Makes A Lawyer Like He Is? This young Bill Hearst, Jr. is a mighty promising young fellow, and looks like he is going to pick up W. R.'s [William Randolph Hearst's] trail and keep the ink smearing over half the pulp wood of Canada."

"But we can't alibi all our ills by just knocking the old banker. First he loaned the money, then the people all at once wanted it back, and he didn't have it. Now he's got it again, and is afraid to loan it, so the poor devil don't know what to do."

"But, Lord, if we go into the things that are useless why two thirds of the world would have to turn to manual labor. That's really the only essential thing there is. Anyhow they was a good bunch and they had a good convention and it was good to meet 'em."

"Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff."

"California has been lucky, we escaped the winds, the floods, the droughts, and the heat, but pestilence finally caught us, the boll weevil descended on us in trainloads, 3500 lawyers of the American Bar Association are here eating us out of house and home. They are here, they say, to save the Constitution, to preserve State rights. What they ought to be here for, that would make this convention immortal, is to kick the crooks out of their profession. They should recommend a law that every case that went on trial, the lawyer defending should be tried first, then if he come clear, he was eligible to defend. As it is now they are trying the wrong man."

"Call me a “rube” and a “hick,” but I’d lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."

"Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would 'pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.' Now is a good chance to get even with 'em, by electing 'em, just to prove what a liar they are. DT #1334, Nov.2, 1930"

"Cattlemen have lost more in the last few years than anybody and say less about it."

"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction."

"Cities are like gentlemen. They are born not made."

"Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers."

"Comedians haven't improved. Nothing has improved but taxes."

"Common sense ain't common."

"Communism is like prohibition - it’s a good idea but it won’t work."

"Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation."

"Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U. S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years."

"Congress can pass a bad law and as soon as the old Normal Majority finds it out they have it scratched off the book."

"Congress has passed the big inheritance tax. That gets you when you’re gone. I think it’s a good law. You had had the use of the money during your lifetime, so turn it over to the government and they can do some darn fool things with it. Maybe as foolish as the children of the deceased would. It’s only one generation from a pick handle to a putter and one more from a tuxedo to a tramp."

"Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees."

"Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill."

"Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they're doing. Amen."

"Coolidge has the best idea on this farm relief. He said, 'Farmers, you are in a hole. I can't help you, but I will get in with you.' He did. That made it fine so the farmers were satisfied as long as Coolidge was going to get in with them."

"Coolidge made less speeches and got more votes than any man that ever run. (William Jennings) Bryan was listened to and cheered by more people than any single human in politics, and he lost. So there is a doubt just whether talking does you good or harm."

"Death knows no denomination. Death draws no color line."

"Democrats always were a cheap lot. They never had much money to operate on.... They would rather make a speech than a dollar. They cultivate their voice instead of their finances."

"Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans."

"Democrats take the whole thing as a joke. Republicans take it serious but run it like a joke."

"Democrats, you can’t shame them into even dying. They would keep on living just to spite the Republicans."

"Did you read how many thousands (not hundreds) but thousands of students just graduated all over the country in law? Going to take an awful lot of crime to support that bunch."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock."

"Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week."

"Divorces in Reno have increased over 105 per cent in the last year. Now, that’s prosperity, for you can’t be broke and get a divorce. That’s why the poor have to live with each other. There is nothing that denotes prosperity quicker than to hear that “so and so and his wife ain’t getting along.”"

"Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?"

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

"Don’t gamble. Take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it ’til it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it."

"Don’t make the first payment on anything. First payments is what made us think we were prosperous and the other nineteen is what showed us we were broke."

"Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source."

"Don't gamble. Take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it."

"Don't invite me if you don't want me."

"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today."